Marriage

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him 5:00 a.m. for an early morning flight.
Not wanting to be the first to beak the silence (and Lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 a.m.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to find it was 9:00 a.m. and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 a.m. Wake up!'

(Men are not equipped for these kind of contests!)

You Have To Queue For Everything These Days

(Click on image to enlarge)

Quiz Show Howlers

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers?'
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Jeremy Paxman: No. They're nicknames for regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

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BEG BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.

Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.

Contestant: Leicester.

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BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White: : Who had a world wide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: I don't know.

Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow.

Contestant: Arm.

Stewart White: Correct. And if your not weak, you're .....?

Contestant: Strong.

Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant: Louis

Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a world wide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

Maxine's World

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