Church Bulletins

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing service will be discontinued until further notice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

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The third verse of 'Blessed Assurance' will be sung without musical accomplishment.

Patient Recovers From Swine Flu With Only Minor Side Effects

Heard On Answering Machines

Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

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This is not an answering machine, this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.

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Hello, I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I find it.

Petrol Prices

Who Am I?

Another Who Am I challenge. The usual ten clues that when solved will reveal the name of our mystery celebrity. Who do you think it is?

01 I was born on 14 June 1976.
02 My place of birth was Weymouth, Dorset.
03 I grew up in Northampton.
04 My father was manager of Northampton Football Club.
05 I graduated from Middlesex University with a degree in BA Drama and Theatre.
06 You may have seen me on the Richard & Judy show.
07 More recently I have been associated with the The Sunday Night Project.
08 I released a DVD in 2008 titled Tooth Fairy Live.
09 I have also released a book entitled Look Who It Is.
10 I won a British Comedy Award for best live stand-up.

Can you work out the name of our celebrity?