Ever Wondered Why

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Ever Wondered Why?

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.

(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious).

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On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning contains nuts

(Talk about a newsflash)

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I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.

On a child's superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

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Ever Wondered Why?

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - Product will be hot after heating.
(Now there's a surprise)

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On Boots Children's Cough Mixture - Don not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts).

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On packaging for a K-Mart iron - Do not iron clothes on body.

(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

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On Nytol Sleep Aid - Warning: May cause drowsiness.

(Er, I thought .......)

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On most brands of Christmas lights - For indoor or outdoor use only.

(As opposed to ........ ?)

Ever Wondered Why

On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Darn and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

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On a bag of chips: You could be a winner. No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)

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On a bar of Palmolive soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?)

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On some frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion.)

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On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom). Do not turn upside down. (Well..duh, a bit late, huh).

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Ever Wondered Why?

Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?

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Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

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Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

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If con is the opposite of pro is congress the opposite of progress?

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Why they call the airport 'the terminal' if flying is so safe?

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Ever Wondered Why?

Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?

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Who tastes dog food when it has

'a new and improved flavour?

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Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

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Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

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Ever Wondered Why?

Why Doctors call what they do 'practice'?

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Why you have to click on start to turn off your computer?

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Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour,

while dish washing liquid is made with real lemons?

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Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

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Ever Wondered Why?

Why the sun lightens our hair,

but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara

with their mouth closed?

Why you don't ever see the headline:

'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why 'abbreviated' is such a long word?

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