Girlie Wisdom

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.

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Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like ... 'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' ... Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!.

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The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

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I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

Girlie Wisdom

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

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Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness

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Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes.

Girlie Wisdom

The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

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The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Girlie Wisdom

A friend of mine comfused her Valium with her birth control pills ..... She has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

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One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

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My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.