That's When The Fight Started

When I got home late last night, the wife told me to take her someplace expensive for dinner. So, I took her to the gas station.


That's when the fight started ........

That's When The Fight Started

I retired recently, and went to the Social Security office to apply for benefits. When the woman behind the counter wanted to verify my age I realized I'd left my wallet at home. I told the woman I would have to come back later.
"Unbutton your shirt," she said
So I opened my shirt revealing silver hair.
"That's proof enough for me," she said, and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I told my wife what happened.
She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You could have gotten disability, too."

That's when the fight started .....

That's When The Fight Started

I drove into the back of a car on my way to work this morning. We pulled into the side of the road, and the other driver got out of his car. Yeah, well I couldn't believe it - he was a dwarf!
He stormed over to my car, looked at me, and shouted, "I am not happy"
I looked down at him, and asked, "Which one are you then?"

That's when the fight started .....

That's When The Fight Started

My wife and I were at my high school reunion, when she noticed me staring at an obviously drunk woman sitting alone at a table.
"Do you know her?" my wife asked.
"Yes," I sighed. "She's an old girlfriend. She started drinking after we split up years ago, and people say she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" whispered my wife. "Who would think a person could celebrate that long?"

That's when the fight started ......

That's When The Fight Started

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Lite for £12.
Instead she bought a jar of cold cream for £7.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream

That's when the fight started...

That's When The Fight Started

A man staggered into the casualty department of a hospital, he had severe concussion, two black eyes, multiple bruising and a five iron wrapped tightly round his throat.

Naturally, the doctor asked him "What happened to you?"

The man managed to croak ... "Well my wife and I were having a quiet round of golf, we were playing the eighth ... a difficult hole at the best of times ... anyway we both sliced our balls into a field full of cattle. We went to look for them and as we were walking round, I noticed that one of the cows had something white at it's rear end. I went oveer, lifted it's tail, and sure enough there was a golf ball with my wife's initial on it ... stuck right in the centre of the cow's f***y.

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife "Hey this looks like yours!"

That's when the fight started!

That's When The The Fight Started

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

Somewhere I haven't been in a long time" she said

So I suggested , "How about the kitchen?"

That's when the fight started!

That's When The Fight Started

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV."
I said, "Dust"

That's when the fight started!