Definitions

Antique
An item your grandparents bought, your parents got rid of , and you're buying again.

Balderdash
A rapidly receding hairline

Boss
Someone who is early when you are late, and late when you are early.

Avoidable
What a bullfighter tries to do.

Petrol Prices

Wildlife Pictures No.12

Shopping Done! From our Wildlife Pictures series.

(Click image to enlarge)

Skydiver Survives 6,000ft Plunge

Skydiver James Boole from Tamworth, Staffordshire has survived a jump of 6,000ft, despite opening his parachute too late. Mr Boole was filming another skydiver who was meant to signal when to release his chute, but made a miscalculation. See the incident on a video clip by clicking the link below:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8056511.stm

The Problem With Budget Airlines

01 They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.
02 All the insurance machines in the terminals are sold out.
03 Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
04 You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
05 Before you take off the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
06 The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
07 When they pull the steps away the plane starts rocking.
08 The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
09 You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he replies, "Just once."
10 No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
11 You see a man with a gun. He's demanding to be let off the plane.
12 All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.