An old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times sake. He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy of his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, "How am I doing? The prostitute replies, "Well, old sailor, you're doing about three knots". "Three knots?" he asks. What's that supposed to mean?" She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in and you're not getting your money back!"Thursday, 4 June 2009
Old Sailor
An old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times sake. He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy of his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, "How am I doing? The prostitute replies, "Well, old sailor, you're doing about three knots". "Three knots?" he asks. What's that supposed to mean?" She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in and you're not getting your money back!"
Definitions
Professor
Someone who talks in someone else's sleep.
Psychologist
A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
Puddle
A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Quiet
A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.
Someone who talks in someone else's sleep.
Psychologist
A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
Puddle
A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Quiet
A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.
Who Am I?
Ten more tantalising clues in our latest 'Who Am I?' puzzle. Ten clues that should lead you to the identity of a well known person.
01 I was born on 14 May 1956.
02 My place of birth was Salford.
03 When I was 5, along with my brother Stephen, I played a street urchin in 'A Taste Of Honey' in Salford.
04 I graduated from Trent Polytechnic with a BA(Hons) degree in law.
05 I began my career as a trainee solicitor with Salford City Council in 1978.
06 I stood against Neil Hamilton in Tatton in 1987.
07 I was elected labour MP for Salford in 1997.
08 I was Parliamentary Private Secretary to the Minister of State at the Department of Health, Alan Milburn.
09 As a member of Tony Blair's government I launched the 5-a-day campaign.
10 On 3 June 2009 I announced my resignation from the cabinet at the next reshuffle.
Who do you think our mystery well known person is.
01 I was born on 14 May 1956.
02 My place of birth was Salford.
03 When I was 5, along with my brother Stephen, I played a street urchin in 'A Taste Of Honey' in Salford.
04 I graduated from Trent Polytechnic with a BA(Hons) degree in law.
05 I began my career as a trainee solicitor with Salford City Council in 1978.
06 I stood against Neil Hamilton in Tatton in 1987.
07 I was elected labour MP for Salford in 1997.
08 I was Parliamentary Private Secretary to the Minister of State at the Department of Health, Alan Milburn.
09 As a member of Tony Blair's government I launched the 5-a-day campaign.
10 On 3 June 2009 I announced my resignation from the cabinet at the next reshuffle.
Who do you think our mystery well known person is.
George Gets It Wrong Again
George W Bush has had his exit strategy from a Beijing news conference foiled by locked doors. Click on the following link to watch the video clip:
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