Sunday, 7 June 2009
The Tickle Me Elmo Factory
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.
The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.
The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
American Law And Disorder
More hilarious quotations from a book by Charles M Sevilla entitled 'Disorder in the American Courts'.
Attorney: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until next morning?
Witness: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Attorney: The youngest son, the twenty year old, how old is he?
Witness: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Attorney: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Witness: Are you shitting me.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Attorney: So, the date of conception (of the baby) was 8 August
Witness: Yes
Attorney: And what were you doing at that time.
Witness: Getting laid.
Attorney: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until next morning?
Witness: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Attorney: The youngest son, the twenty year old, how old is he?
Witness: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Attorney: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Witness: Are you shitting me.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Attorney: So, the date of conception (of the baby) was 8 August
Witness: Yes
Attorney: And what were you doing at that time.
Witness: Getting laid.
Saturday, 6 June 2009
Record Litter For Leicester Dalmation
101 Dalmation's - well, not quite, but a remarkable achievement nevertheless. A Leicester Dalmation has produced a record-breaking 18 pups beating the previous record of 15. Watch the pups now by clicking the link:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7816790.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7816790.stm
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