Office Essentials

That's When The Fight Started

I drove into the back of a car on my way to work this morning. We pulled into the side of the road, and the other driver got out of his car. Yeah, well I couldn't believe it - he was a dwarf!
He stormed over to my car, looked at me, and shouted, "I am not happy"
I looked down at him, and asked, "Which one are you then?"

That's when the fight started .....

Computer Definitions

Window
What to shut when it's cold outside.

Screen
What to shut during black fly season.

Screen Saver
Duct tape for the torn window screen.

Byte
What the black flies do.

Bit
What the black flies did.

Megabyte
What the big black flies do during trout season.

Looking Back - Parents Appeal For Missing Estate Agent

On this day in 1986, the parents of a missing London estate agent made an emotional appeal for her safe return.
Suzy Lamplugh, 25 was last seen with a man aged between 25 and 30, about 5'8" tall, with swept back hair and a dark suit outside a property in Fulham at 1300 BST two days ago.
A man called Mr Kipper had telephoned to book an appointment to view the house on Sherralds Road earlier on Monday.
Her colleagues at Sturgis estate agents became suspicious when Suzy did not return from her appointment - booked for 1245 BST - and missed a meeting with another client 1t 1800 BST.
Police revealed no Mr Kipper was known at the address he had given. They discovered Miss Lamplugh's car at 2200 BST that evening outside a property for sale in Stevenage Road, one-and-a-half miles away from her original appointment.
The car a B-registration, company owned, white Ford Fiesta - had been left with its doors open and Miss Lamplugh's purse in the door pocket. The ignition key was missing.
Detective Superintendent Nick Carter, in charge of the investigation said: "Everything leads us to believe she has been abducted."
Miss Lamplugh - had lived for a year in a two-bedroom flat she owned in Putney. At the time of her disappearance she was wearing a grey skirt, dark jacket and low stiletto heels.
Speaking at the family home in south west London her father Paul, a solicitor, said: "I don't think Suzy has been murdered. I believe she is still alive and with every body's help we will find her. Her mother Diana - founder of the British Slimnastics Association - fought back tears as she said: "There has never been a time in the past when I did not know where she was."
A former beautician on the QE2, her friends, family and colleagues describe her as a conscientious, outgoing and happy young woman.
It became the most well-publicised missing person case since that of Lord Lucan in November 1974. The police inquiry was called off a year after Suzy Lamplugh's disappearance, but police have said the file will remain open until a body is found or a suspect is conclusively identified.
Suzy Lamplugh was formally declared dead in 1994.

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To watch an emotional appeal made by the parents of Suzy Lamplugh for her safe return, click on the video link below. (First broadcast 30 July 1986).

http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_6530000/newsid_6530800/6530893.stm?bw=bb&mp=wm&news=1&bbcws=1

Famous London Pubs - The Old Bull And Bush

The Old Bull and Bush is a Grade II listed public house near Hampstead Heath in London which gave its name to the music hall son "Down at the Old Bull and Bush" sung by Florrie Forde.
The interior was renovated to a modern style with an openly visible kitchen and reopened to the public on 24 March 2006. Until the introduction of the English smoking ban on July 1 2007, The Bull and Bush was one of the only completely smoke-free pubs in London.
The earliest record of a building on the site is of a farmhouse in 1645. The farmhouse gained a licence to sell ale in 1721. William Hogarth drank here, and is believed to have been involved in planting out the pub garden.
The pub gained a music licence in 1867 when Henry Humphries was the landlord, and the pub became popular as a day trip for cockneys, resulting in the Florrie Forde song "Down at the old Bull and Bush".
The building underwent a major reconstruction in 1924 when owned by the Ind Coope brewery. Another refurbishment took place in 1987.
Footnote 1
William Hogarth (1697-1764) was a major English painter, printmaker, pictorial satirist, social critic and editorial cartoonist who has been credited with pioneering western sequential art. His work ranged from excellent realistic portraiture to comic strip-like series of pictures called 'modern moral subjects'. Much of his work, though at times vicious, poked fun at contemporary politics and customs. Illustrations in such style are often referred to as "Hogartian".
Footnote 2
Florrie Forde (1875-1940), born Flora May Augusta Flannagan, was an Australian popular singer and entertainer. She was one of the greatest stars of the early 20th century music hall. Forde had a powerful stage presence, and specialised in songs that had powerful and memorable choruses in which the audience was encouraged to join. She married in 1909 and was soon drawing top billing, singing songs such as Down At The Old Bull And Bush and Has Anybody Here Seen Kelly? She appeared in the very first Royal Command Performance in 1912.