That's When The Fight Started

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Lite for £12.
Instead she bought a jar of cold cream for £7.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream

That's when the fight started...

Office Essentials

Today's Smile

Famous London Pubs - Town Of Ramsgate

THE ORIGIN OF THE PUB SIGNS

In 1393 King Richard II decreed that pubs

must have signs so that the examiner or

tester of ales would know the location of

each pub.

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The pictorial sign was developed in the times when the vast majority of the population were illiterate and needed something large, simple and bright to recognise.

*****

TOWN OF RAMSGATE

Town of Ramsgate, known originally as the Red Cow after a rather bad-tempered red-head barmaid. The Town of Ramsgate came from the Kentish fishermen who landed their fish next door at Wapping Old Stairs. From the balcony at low tide you can still see the post where pirates were executed at Execution Dock. One famous pirate to die there was Captain Kidd, in 1701. As a superstar of the day he pulled a big crowd, among them an ex-lover. Kidd growled: "I have lain with that bitch three times, now she comes to see me hanged." The badly rusted harness was only discovered in the mud this century. During the eighteenth century, the cellars of the pub were used as dungeons for convicts awaiting transportation to America and Australia. There is also a pub nearby called 'The Captain Kidd' after the famous execution.

Reproduced by kind permission of Knowledge of London.
http://knowledgeoflondon.com/pubs

Mexican Maid

Our Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.
My wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.
She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria: "Well, Senora, there are three reasons why I want a pay increase. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Maria: "Your husband said so."
Wife: "Oh."
Maria: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"
Maria: "Your husband did."
Wife: "Oh."
Maria: "My third reason is I am a better lover than you."
Wife: (really furious now) "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Senora ... the gardener did."
Wife: So how much do you want?"