Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Binge Drinking? The English Come A Poor Second

If the English think they lead the world in binge drinking, they had better think again. I have just been reading an article that defies belief. Sergei Kondratyev, a Russian from Yekaterinburgh city, was laid-off from his job, and feeling "awfully disappointed" decided to take himself off to the grocery store and bought a bottle of vodka and two lumps of cream cheese. He was later joined by a friend, who was described as 'of large stature' and presumably therefore able to hold his drink. It appears that shortly after that, unhappy Sergei's recollections became very hazy. Following the drinking session Sergei found himself in the Yekaterinburgh hospital. Neurosurgeon, Stanislav Chursin who attended him said, "We did the analysis and gasped ...According to the most modest estimate, the man drank no less than eight bottles." He added, "His blood contained as a minimum, twice the deadly dose." The patient, described as clutching his head while he was interviewed, has vowed not to touch another drop. Vodka in Russia is typically 80 proof or 40 percent alcohol, and sold in half-litre bottles (about 35 imperial ounces, 33.8 US ounces).
Footnote
According to Encyclopedia Britannica vodka originated in Russia during the 14th century, and the name is a diminutive of the Russian voda (water). It was not originally called vodka - instead the term 'bread wine' was used. Until the mid-18th century, it remained relatively low in alcohol content, was mostly sold in taverns and was quite expensive. The first written usage of the word vodka in an official Russian document in its modern meaning is dated by the decree of Empress Elizabeth of June 8, 1751, which regulated the ownership of vodka distilleries. The taxes on vodka became a key element of government finances in Tsarist Russia, providing at times up to 40% of state revenue.

Final Lorry Art

(Click on image to enlarge)
Today we bring you the final picture in our Lorry Art series. I hope you have enjoyed this brilliant series. The last one is for Pringles-Hot & Spicy. The side and back of the lorry have been painted to give the impression that the lorry trailer has been destroyed by fire.

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Manchester United - 41 Years Ago

Tonight Manchester United play against Arsenal in the first-leg of the second semi-final of the UEFA Champions League Cup. Manchester United go into the game as the current champions having beaten Chelsea in last years competition. The last team to have managed to retain the trophy, was AC Milan in 1990. The competition, which began in 1955 has been won the most times by Spanish giants Real Madrid, who have lifted the trophy nine times in all. The most successful British team are Liverpool, five times winners, followed by United with three wins.
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Memory Lane
Pictured right is the cover of a souvenir booklet issued by the Daily Mirror in 1968, forty one years ago, to commemorate the World Club Championship match between Manchester United and the Argentine side Estudiantes de la Plata. This was the era when Sir Matt Busby was manager over such stars as George Best, Bobby Charlton and Dennis Law. Estudiantes de la Plata won the Championship, over two legs, 2-1 on aggregate. (Note the price of the souvenir 3/6 - three shillings and sixpence pre-decimalisation, todays equivalent seventeen-and-a-half pence).
(Thanks to Andrew Stancer for the loan of the souvenir)
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Today's Smile

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,"Well I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning Ma'am," he said. "I've come to..."
"Oh no need to explain," Mrs Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my speciality?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."
After a moment she asked, blushing. "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me."
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time, but if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My that's a lot!" gasped Mrs Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you would be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh, my word!" Mrs Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes," the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true Ma'am, yes. Well, if your ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much to big to be held in the hand for very long."
It was at this point that Mrs Smith passed out!!!!!!!

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Poem - Blankney In Autumn

Another poem from my Blankney Anthology written in 1995.

Blankney In Autumn

The season changes once again
The fields look bare and thin
Softened now by Autumn rain
The harvest gathered in
Summers green gives way to gold
The ploughman earns his living
And in the church, both young and old
Gather for thanksgiving
Woodland walks show us now
The village at its best
Cascading leaves, shed as trees
Prepare for winters rest
Tall chimney pots puff smoke again
As through the gathering gloom
Firelight flickers on window panes
To light a cosy room
So hurry home with hastened stride
The hooting owl is calling
There's no place like a fireside
When Autumn leaves are falling

Rodney Garlant




Maxine's World