Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Blondes - As Seen Through The Eyes Of A Blind Man

A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loud voice, "Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?"!!!
The bar immediately falls deathly quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things .....
1 - The bartender is a blonde.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde.
3- The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
4 - The lady to your right is a blonde and a professional wrestler, and
5 - I'm a six foot, 200 lb, blonde woman with a PhD., a black belt in Karate and a very bad attitude. Now think about it seriously, Mister. "Do you still want to tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and says;
"Naaaaah ..... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!"

Today's Smile

The Obedient Wife

There was a man, who had worked all his life, and had saved all his money. In fact when it came to his money, he was a real miser.
Just before he died, he said to his wife ..... "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him, with all her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.
When he died he was stretchered out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait a moment!"
She had a small metal box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.
Her friend said, "Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband."
The loyal wife replied. "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."
To which her friend replied, "You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did ," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it in my account, and wrote him a cheque ..... if he can cash it, then he can spend it.
"Who said men were smarter than women?

Who Am I? - Tuesday's Answer

Tuesday's -Who Am I?


Charlie Chaplin

Why Do We Say That?

When hunting birds some people would beat about the bush to drive them out into the open. Other people would catch the birds. 'I won't beat about the bush' came to mean 'I will go straight to the point without any delay'.

A bakers dozen means thirteen. It is said to have come from the days when bakers were severely

A shrift was a confession made to a priest. Criminals were allowed to make a short shrift before they were executed. So if you gave somebody short shrift you gave them a few minutes to confess their sins before carry out the execution.

In Luke 12:34 Jesus laments that he wished to gather the people of Jerusalem as a hen gathers her chicks under new wings but Jerusalem was not willing.