Friday, 31 July 2009

Looking Back - Violence Flares At Mosley Rally

On this day in 1962, former fascist leader Sir Oswald Mosley was assaulted at a rally in London's east end. He and members of his anti-Semitic Blackshirt group were punched to the ground as soon as his meeting opened at Ridley Road, Dalston. Police were forced to close the meeting within three minutes and made 54 arrests - including Sir Oswald's son Max.

A crowd of several thousand had gathered in the area, where Sir Oswald, leader of the Union Movement formerly known as the British Union Of Fascists, planned to speak from the back of a lorry.

As soon as he appeared from between two police buses the crowd surged forward and knocked Sir Oswald to the ground. He tried to fight back from the cobbles, before police helped him to climb on the lorry prepared for his address. He was met by a hail of missiles including rotten fruit, pennies and stones and people tried to storm the platform

Trouble started long before the meeting began as over 200 police -including ten on horseback -attempted to clear an area around the lorry-platform.

Four years later Sir Oswald Mosley failed to get elected to parliament once more and he retired from politics.

Sir Oswald Mosley died in France in 1980. In November 2002 the Public Records Office in the UK released documents revealing details of the British intelligence services' surveillance of Sir Oswald and his wife and the threat they posed. According to the evidence his wife, Diana Mitford, was regarded as more dangerous than her husband, because she had much closer ties with the Nazis in Germany.

To watch a video clip showing Oswald Mosley being surged by angry crowds during the rally, click on the link below:

Today's Smile

Who Am I?

As usual today's Who Am I puzzle asks you to study ten clues which should help reveal the identity of a famous celebrity. Can you spot who it is?

01 I was born on 1 March 1910.
02 I am an English actor and novelist.
03 I was born in London, England.
04 I attended Stowe School in Buckinghamshire.
05 I then went to the Royal Military College at Sandhurst.
06 I absconded from the army and fled to America.
07 In my first film I was an extra and played the part of a Mexican, in a Western.
08 Perter Ustinov was my batman during the war and later appeared with me in Death on the Nile (1978).
09 I co-starred with Peter Sellers in (Casino Royale and The Trail of the Pink Panther).
10 I died on 29 July 1983.

Good luck with this puzzle. Answer in tomorrows Journal.

Why Do We Say That?

We very often use old sayings that have been passed, by word of mouth, down through the ages. Most of the time we have no idea how these sayings came about. Below are some of the sayings and an explanation of their origins.

The most likely explanation for this old saying is that during the English Civil War Royalists captured in the Midlands were sent to Coventry. They were held prisoner in St. John's Church and the local people shunned them and refused to speak to them.

A long shot is an option with only a small chance of success. In the past guns were only accurate at short range. So a "long shot" (fired over a long distance) only had a small chance of hitting its target.

Any farm animal that had outlived its usefulness such as a hen that no longer laid eggs would literally go to pot. It was cooked and eaten.

In the 17th century England and Holland were rivals. They fought wars in 1652-54, 1665-67 and 1672-74. It was said (very unfairly) that the Dutch had to drink alcohol to build up their courage. Other insulting phrases are Going Dutch (meaning you pay for yourself) and Double Dutch meaning gibberish.

Office Essentials

That's When The Fight Started

I drove into the back of a car on my way to work this morning. We pulled into the side of the road, and the other driver got out of his car. Yeah, well I couldn't believe it - he was a dwarf!
He stormed over to my car, looked at me, and shouted, "I am not happy"
I looked down at him, and asked, "Which one are you then?"

That's when the fight started .....

Computer Definitions

What to shut when it's cold outside.

What to shut during black fly season.

Screen Saver
Duct tape for the torn window screen.

What the black flies do.

What the black flies did.

What the big black flies do during trout season.

Thursday, 30 July 2009

Looking Back - Parents Appeal For Missing Estate Agent

On this day in 1986, the parents of a missing London estate agent made an emotional appeal for her safe return.
Suzy Lamplugh, 25 was last seen with a man aged between 25 and 30, about 5'8" tall, with swept back hair and a dark suit outside a property in Fulham at 1300 BST two days ago.
A man called Mr Kipper had telephoned to book an appointment to view the house on Sherralds Road earlier on Monday.
Her colleagues at Sturgis estate agents became suspicious when Suzy did not return from her appointment - booked for 1245 BST - and missed a meeting with another client 1t 1800 BST.
Police revealed no Mr Kipper was known at the address he had given. They discovered Miss Lamplugh's car at 2200 BST that evening outside a property for sale in Stevenage Road, one-and-a-half miles away from her original appointment.
The car a B-registration, company owned, white Ford Fiesta - had been left with its doors open and Miss Lamplugh's purse in the door pocket. The ignition key was missing.
Detective Superintendent Nick Carter, in charge of the investigation said: "Everything leads us to believe she has been abducted."
Miss Lamplugh - had lived for a year in a two-bedroom flat she owned in Putney. At the time of her disappearance she was wearing a grey skirt, dark jacket and low stiletto heels.
Speaking at the family home in south west London her father Paul, a solicitor, said: "I don't think Suzy has been murdered. I believe she is still alive and with every body's help we will find her. Her mother Diana - founder of the British Slimnastics Association - fought back tears as she said: "There has never been a time in the past when I did not know where she was."
A former beautician on the QE2, her friends, family and colleagues describe her as a conscientious, outgoing and happy young woman.
It became the most well-publicised missing person case since that of Lord Lucan in November 1974. The police inquiry was called off a year after Suzy Lamplugh's disappearance, but police have said the file will remain open until a body is found or a suspect is conclusively identified.
Suzy Lamplugh was formally declared dead in 1994.

To watch an emotional appeal made by the parents of Suzy Lamplugh for her safe return, click on the video link below. (First broadcast 30 July 1986).

Famous London Pubs - The Old Bull And Bush

The Old Bull and Bush is a Grade II listed public house near Hampstead Heath in London which gave its name to the music hall son "Down at the Old Bull and Bush" sung by Florrie Forde.
The interior was renovated to a modern style with an openly visible kitchen and reopened to the public on 24 March 2006. Until the introduction of the English smoking ban on July 1 2007, The Bull and Bush was one of the only completely smoke-free pubs in London.
The earliest record of a building on the site is of a farmhouse in 1645. The farmhouse gained a licence to sell ale in 1721. William Hogarth drank here, and is believed to have been involved in planting out the pub garden.
The pub gained a music licence in 1867 when Henry Humphries was the landlord, and the pub became popular as a day trip for cockneys, resulting in the Florrie Forde song "Down at the old Bull and Bush".
The building underwent a major reconstruction in 1924 when owned by the Ind Coope brewery. Another refurbishment took place in 1987.
Footnote 1
William Hogarth (1697-1764) was a major English painter, printmaker, pictorial satirist, social critic and editorial cartoonist who has been credited with pioneering western sequential art. His work ranged from excellent realistic portraiture to comic strip-like series of pictures called 'modern moral subjects'. Much of his work, though at times vicious, poked fun at contemporary politics and customs. Illustrations in such style are often referred to as "Hogartian".
Footnote 2
Florrie Forde (1875-1940), born Flora May Augusta Flannagan, was an Australian popular singer and entertainer. She was one of the greatest stars of the early 20th century music hall. Forde had a powerful stage presence, and specialised in songs that had powerful and memorable choruses in which the audience was encouraged to join. She married in 1909 and was soon drawing top billing, singing songs such as Down At The Old Bull And Bush and Has Anybody Here Seen Kelly? She appeared in the very first Royal Command Performance in 1912.

Today's Smile

There are only two types of people in the world ... anybody who drives slower than you is an idiot. And anyone who drives faster than you is a maniac.
I think men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Sam: Would you punish me for something I hadn't done?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Sam: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.


Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.


Sing along at the opera.


Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.


Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Brainteaser - Wednesday's Answer

Yesterday's brainteaser was a word puzzle. You were asked to identify words from which some of the letters had been removed. Each word contained the letter-pairing YM. Here are the answers:


Not easy! Did you manage to solve any of them

Witches Never Looked Like This When I Was A Kid

Wookey Hole cave is a tourist attraction in the village of Wookey Hole, on the edge of the Mendip Hills, in Somerset, an area which has long been famous for its spectacular caves. The cave was formed by the action of the River Axe on the limestone hills. Before emerging at Wookey Hole the waters enter underground streams and passes through other caves such as Swildon's Hole and St Cuthbert's Swallet.

Legend has it that in the dark Ages the cave was lived in by an old woman who kept a dog and some goats. The local people believed her to be a witch and blamed her for all the misfortunes of the village. They sought the help of the Abbot of Glastonbury Abbey to get rid of her. A monk by the name of Father Bernard, armed with only a candle and a bible, was sent to exorcise the witch's spirit. According to the legend he pursued her deeper into the cave, before scooping a handful of water from the river that runs through the caves, threw it over the witch and turned her to stone. Her frozen figure remains in an area of the cavern, known as The Witches Kitchen, to this day.

A modern day attraction at the cave is the employment of a witch, who, at certain times of the year inhabits the cave. The previous witch recently retired from the position and auditions were held to find her successor. Candidates must be able to cackle and not be allergic to cats. The annual salary offered was £50,000 pro rata, and based on work done as required, mostly in the summer holidays, but also at Halloween and Christmas.
The tourist site said it wanted the appointee to go about her "everyday business as a hag, so that people passing through the caves can get a sense of what the place was like in the Dark Ages". The post attracted about 1,000 applicants.
The successful candidate was Carole Bohanan, an estate agent, who will now take over her post as the witch of Wookey Hole.

To see an interview with Carole Bohanan click on the video link below:

Thought For Today

Could it think, the heart would stop beating.
Fernando Pessoa

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

How To Handle A Problem Neighbour

Poem -The Dawn Of Guilt (John Betjeman)

Today's poem is an extract from John Betjeman's 'The Dawn Of Guilt' and relates his visits to his fathers London factory in Pentonville. Betjeman's father had great expectations of him taking over the company "fourth generation - yes, this is the boy." However, Betjeman had no interest in the business whatsoever, a fact that filled him with guilt for the rest of his life. Again, the poem has been written in blank verse and should be read as prose, following the punctuation.

Extract from The Dawn Of Guilt

My dear deaf father, how I loved him then
Before the years of our estrangement came!
The long calm walks on twilit evenings
Through Highgate New Town to the cinema:
The expeditions by North London trains
To dim forgotten stations, wooden shacks
On oil-lit flimsy platforms among fields
As yet unbuilt-on, deep in Middlesex ...
We'd stand in dark antique shops while he talked,
Holding his deaf-appliance to his ear,
Lifting the ugly mouthpiece with a smile
Towards the flattered shopman. Most of all
I think my father loved me when we went
In early-morning pipe-smoke on the tram
Down to the Angel, visiting the Works.
"Fourth generation - yes, this is the boy."
The smell of sawdust still brings back to me
The rambling workshops high on Pentonville,
Built over gardens to White Lion Street,
Clicking with patents of the family firm
Founded in 1820. When you rang
The front-door bell a watchful packer pulled
A polished lever twenty yards away,
And this released the catch into a world
Of shining showrooms full of secret drawers
And Maharajah's dressing-cases.
Hushed be thy green hilltop, handsome Highbury!
Stilled by the traffic roar of Upper Street!
Flash shop-fronts, masts and neon signs, drop off
The now-encumbered houses! O return,
Straw-smelling mornings, to old Islington!
A hint of them still hung about the Works
From the past days of our prosperity-
A hint of them in medals, photographs
And stockrooms heavy with the Tantalus
On which the family fortune had been made.
The Alexandra Palace patent lock,
The Betjemann device for hansom cabs,
Patents exhibited in '51,
Improvements on them shown in '62,
The Betjemann trolley used in coffee-rooms,
The inlaid brass, the figured rosewood box,
The yellow satinwood, the silverware-
What wealth the money from them once had brought
To fill the hot-house half-way up the stairs
With red begonias; what servants' halls;
What terrace houses and what carriage-drives!
Bang through the packing-room! Then up the step:
"Be careful , Maser John," old William called.
Over the silversmiths' uneven floor
I thought myself a fast electric train,
First stop the silver-plating shop (no time
To watch the locksmiths' and engravers work):
For there in silence Buckland used to drop
Dull bits of metal into frothing tanks
And bring them out all gold or silver bright-
He'd turn a penny into half-a-crown.
Though he but seldom spoke, yet he and I
Worked there as one. He let me seem to work.
The cabinet-makers' shop, all belts and wheels
And whining saws, would thrill me with the scream
Of tortured wood, starting a blackened plank
Under the cruel plane and coming out
Sweet-scented, pink and smooth and richly grained;
While in a far-off shed, caressingly,
French-polishers, all whistling different tunes,
With reeking swabs would rub the coloured woods,
Bringing the figured surfaces to light;
Dark whirling walnut, deep and deeper brown,
And rare mahogany's pressed butterflies.
Beside the timber yard, a favourite hut
Encased the thumping heartbeat of the Works,
An old gas-engine smelling strong of oil.
Its mighty wheel revolved a leather belt
Which, turning lesser wheels and lesser belts,
Spread like a drawing by Heath Robinson
Through all the rambling length of wooden sheds.
When lunch-time brought me hopes of ginger-beer
I'd meet my father's smile as there he stood
Among his clerks, with pens behind their ears,
In the stern silence of the counting house;
And he, perhaps not ready to go out,
Would leave me to explore some upper rooms-
One full of ticking clocks, one full of books;
And once I found a dusty drawing-room,
Completely furnished, where long years ago
My great-grandfather lived above his work
Before he moved to sylvan Highbury.
But in the downstairs showrooms I could find
No link between the finished articles
And all the clatter of the factory.
The Works in Birmingham, I knew made glass;
The stoneworks in Torquay made other things ...
But what did we do? This I did not know,
Nor ever wished to-to my father's grief.
O Mappin, Webb, Asprey and Finnigan!
You polished persons on the retail side-
Old Mag Tags, Paulines and Old Westminsters-
Why did I never take to you? Why now
When, staying in a quiet country house,
I see an onyx ashtray of the firm,
Or in my bedroom, find the figured wood
Of my smooth-sliding dressing-table drawers
Has got a look about it of the Works,
Does my mind flinch so?
Partly it is guilt:
'Following in Father's footsteps was the theme
Of all my early childhood. With what pride
He introduced me to old gentlemen,
Pin-striped commercial travellers of the firm
And tall proprietors of Bond Street shops.
With joy he showed me old George Betjeman's book.
(He was a one-'n' man before the craze
For all things German tacked another 'n'):
'December eighteen seven. Twelve and six-
For helping brother William with his desk.'
Uninteresting then it seemed to me,
Uninteresting still. Slow walks we took
On sunny afternoons to great-great-aunts
In tall Italinate houses: Aberdeen Park,
Hillmarton Road and upper Pooter-land,
Short gravel drives to steepish flights of steps
And stained-glass windows in a purple hall,
A drawing-room with stands of potted plants,
Lace curtains screening other plants beyond.
"Fourth generation-yes, this is the boy."

John Betjeman
Extract from: Summoned By Bells

Black Bear Quintuplets

Black bears typically have two cubs; rarely, one or three. In 2007, in northern New Hampshire a black bear Sow gave birth to a family of five healthy young.
A guy named Tom Sears learned of them shortly after they emerged from their den, and set himself the goal of photographing all five cubs with their mom.
After spend nearly four hours a day, seven days a week, for more than six weeks, he managed to get this fantastic photograph:
He stayed in touch with the family throughout the summer, but after Halloween received no further reports the bears survived until hibernation.
Then in the Spring of 2008, just before the snow disappeared, all six bears came out of their den and wandered all over the same familiar territory they trekked in the Spring of 2007.
Tom dreamed of taking another family portrait. On 25 April 2008, he achieved that dream. The result is this second picture of the family.
When something as magical as this happens between man and animal, Native Americans say, "We have walked together in the shadow of a rainbow."
It is Tom's wish that his exhilarating photos are passed on. I am very happy to do this through the pages of the Blankney Journal.


Another brainteaser for all you Journal wordsmiths. Today's challenge is to complete a set of words from which some of the letters have been removed. Good luck!

Five words that contain YM as a letter-pair have had all their other letters removed. Can you work out what the original words were?

01 *YM**

02 **YM*

03 *YM***

04 *YM****

05 ***YM**

Um, I think these are tricky, see how you get on.

Office Essentials

Thought For Today

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the seond half by our children.
Clarence Darrow

The Ages Of Taking A Woman To Bed

You take her to bed and tell her a story.
AGE 18
You tell her a story and take her to bed.

AGE 28
You don't need to tell her
a story to take her to bed.

AGE 38
She tells you a story and
takes you to bed.

AGE 48
She tells you a story to avoid
going to bed.

AGE 58
You stay in bed to avoid
her story.

AGE 68
If you take her to bed, that will be some story.

AGE 78
Story, what story! Bed, what bed!
Anyway, Who are you!

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Looking Back - Chinese Earthquake Kills Hundreds Of Thousands

On this day in 1976, hundreds of thousands of people were feared dead following an 8.3 magnitude earthquake in China. The quake virtually destroyed the city of Tangshan, north-east of Beijing, and Western sources believed the death toll may be much higher than the official figure of 240,000. Some believed the figure would be more like 750.000.
Around 2,000 people were believed to have died when the quake devastated the city's biggest hospital, according to sources quoting Chinese officials.
The Hong Kong Royal Observatory reports the earthquake was intense although speculation of the magnitude of the quake ranges from 6.3 to 8.3.
It was feared that many miners were buried alive in coal works in the industrial city which has a total population of 1.6m.
Up to 164,000 people were severely injured, according to initial reports from the city. Tremors were also felt in Beijing, where residents were urged to live in the streets and keep to open spaces as it was not thought to be safe to return to their homes in the city.
The force of the quake was so strong that people were thrown into the air after roads, bridges, railway stations, homes and factories were completely destroyed. The quake also knocked out power to the city, making rescue efforts difficult.
Chinese officials rejected any offers of help from the outside world, saying that survivors had enough to eat and wear and that there was sufficient medical supplies and doctors in the city.

Office Essentials

That's When The Fight Started

My wife and I were at my high school reunion, when she noticed me staring at an obviously drunk woman sitting alone at a table.
"Do you know her?" my wife asked.
"Yes," I sighed. "She's an old girlfriend. She started drinking after we split up years ago, and people say she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" whispered my wife. "Who would think a person could celebrate that long?"

That's when the fight started ......

Who Am I? - Monday's Answer

The answer to yesterday's
Who Am I? puzzle
Joanna Lumley


Today's Smile

To my darling husband.

Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick-up truck when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately, not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on to the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but the pick-up luckily came to halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality, you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart

I am enclosing a picture for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my loving arms again.

Your loving wife
P.S. Your girlfriend called.


Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions - switch to espresso.


Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the Prophecy.


As often as possible skip rather than walk.


Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat. Keep a serious face.

Monday, 27 July 2009

Darfur Horse Festival

Tribal leaders in Darfur came together recently for a traditional equestrian festival that has been revived as a forum for discussing peace and reconciliation.

The four-day gathering in the southern Darfur town of Addu'ayn was attended by powerful and prominent leaders from both Arab and black African groups.

It was aimed at diffusing tensions in a region where a five-year conflict has forced more than two million people from their homes and left some 300,000 dead.

The Darfuris are skilled horsemen and breeders, and their love of the animals can border on the obsessive.

This group of horsemen (pictured above) rode the length of the Addu'ayn race course to mark the beginning of the racing.

But horses have also been used to commit atrocities. Janjaweed - the feared pro-government militia - means "Devil on horseback".

Pilot Recreates Historic Channel Flight

A French pilot has recreated the first flight across the English Channel in a monoplane like the one flown by Louis Bleriot in 1909, complete with a wooden propeller and bicycle wheels.
Click on the video link below to watch amazing pictures from his flight.
Edmond Salis took off from Bleriot Beach near Calais, on France's northern coast and arrived 40 minutes later in Dover, England.
The original historic crossing on 25 July 1909 took Bleriot 36 minutes.
(Note: There is no soundtrack on this film.)

Job Application

To hoom it mae cunsern

I wont to apply for the reporter job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik with one finggar and do some a-counting.

I think I am gud on the fone and no I am a people person, People really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

Im lookin for a job as a reporter but it musent be to complicated. I no my spelling is not to good but find that I offen can get a job thru my persinality. My salery is open so we can discus what you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth. I can start imediately.

Thank you in advanse for yore reply.

Hopfuly your best aplicant so far.


Bryan (nikname Beefy)

PS: Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pikture of me.


Dear Beefy - I mean Bryan

It's OK honey, we got spell checker.

You're hired!

Office Essentials

(Click on image to enlarge)

Who Am I?

Can you work out the name of our mystery celebrity in today's Who Am I ? Below are ten clues to help you on your way.

01 I was born 1 May 1945.
02 I was a former model.
03 I am a human rights activist.
04 I am tall, slim and blonde.
05 I was a Bond girl in 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service'.
06 I appeared in an episode of 'Are You Being Served'.
07 I have quite a distinctive voice.
08 I also appeared in the final Michael Parkinson show.
09 In 2005 I published my autobiography 'No Room For Secrets'.
10 I recently visited the Northern Lights.

Check your answer in tomorrows Blankney Journal.

Witty Bits

I can handle pain until it hurts.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
"Would anybody tell me if I was gettin' ...stupider? ... George W. Bush.
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, its biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Phoney Sheep

The pictures below were taken in the
Every one of these sheep is made from
telephones and telephone cords.........
check out their feet.
(Click on images to enlarge)

Sunday, 26 July 2009

Eva Peron Dies

On this day in 1952, Eva de Peron, wife of the president of the Agentine Republic, died from cancer, aged 33. She passed away at 2025 local time at the presidential residence in the company of her husband General Juan Domingo Peron. The President of the Chamber of Deputies, Dr Campora, immediately submitted a bill to Congress, declaring 26 July as a national day of mourning from then on. The government announced that it would observe official mourning for 30 days.
The Queen sent a message of condolence to the Argentine president. It read: "I extend to you my deepest sympathy and that of my people for the tragic loss which you and the Argentine people have suffered in the premature death of your brilliant and devoted partner."
Argentina's most famous first lady, who had recently been proclaimed 'spiritual chief of the Argentine nation' by Congress, was born Maria Eva Duarte on 7 May 1919, in the village of Los Toldos. She was the youngest of five children born to Juana Ibarguren. and Juan Duarte. Her father died when she was seven and the family struggled to make ends meet.
Before she was 20 Eva had moved to Buenos Aires to pursue her theatrical aspirations. She met the then Colonel Juan Domingo Peron in 1944 when he was vice president and secretary of war and the couple were married in 1945. The following year General Peron became president. His wife devoted her time to the poor, or the descamisados (shirtless ones), of Argentina and over the next 7 years brought the working classes into a position of political power never witnessed before. She organized mass political rallies and spent millions of pounds of public money on the poor. She got women the vote and legalised divorce.
Although hailed a social champion and adored by the working classes, Evita, as she became known, was feared and loathed by the military and upper classes. They regarded her as a threat and believed she was using her public position to further her own personal aspirations. In 1951 she was nominated for the vice-presidency but was forced to withdraw after pressure from the military.
Her last public appearance was on 4 June when she stood beside her husband in an open motor-car during the inauguration ceremonies for his second presidential term.
Following her death, her body, dressed in a white evening dress, was taken to the Ministry of Labour and Welfare, where it lay in state for two days. It was then transferred to the General Confederation of Labour.
In 1955 General Peron was overthrown in a military coup and he fled to Spain. Evita's embalmed body was removed and its whereabouts remained a mystery until 1971. It was eventually discovered that her body had lain in a secret grave for 14 years under the name of a nun in a Milan cemetery. It was returned to General Peron in Spain.
In 1973 Juan Peron returned to Argentina after years of exile to begin a third term as president. His wife's body was taken back to Argentina in November 1974, four months after General Peron's death.

Office Essentials


At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down!


Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.


Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.


Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

Time To Get Out The Barbecue

These are a must have!

Witty Bits

Dictionary: the only place marriage comes before sex anymore.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
We have good reason to believe he was stabbed. There was a sharp object sticking out of his chest.

Today's Smile

Brainteaser - Saturday's Answers

Yesterday the brainteaser was a Trivia quiz. Ten questions on a wide variety of subjects. Check the the answers below to see how well you scored.

01 Alexei Leonov.
02 Canvas.
03 Charlie Chaplin.
04 Constantinople.
05 Acorns.
06 The River Severn
07 General Gordon.
08 Bhutan.
09 The aborigines.
10 F. D. Roosevelt.

9/10 Excellent 7/8 Very Good 5/6 Good - Below 5 You're not getting to bed early enough!

Saturday, 25 July 2009

Chelp, Shitun And Shim Shams

Now that I have reached a fairly advanced stage of my second-childhood, I often find myself recalling incidents from the first time I was there. Such an incident occurred yesterday when I was teasing, Sandy, our ginger cat. The more I teased him the more he was talking back to me and I suddenly found myself using a word I have not heard for over fifty years. As he rolled around on the carpet miaowing, I said to him, "and I don't want any of your chelp." Now 'chelp' is not a word you will find in the dictionary, then again I may be spelling it wrong, I presume, therefore, it was an old word peculiar to Lincolnshire dialect. As a young boy, back in the 1940s, if you dared to answer back when talking to an adult, you were met with the retort "less of your chelp."
One of my grandfather's favouite words was 'shitun', it doesn't take much imagination to realise where this derivative came from. If he was trying to use, or assemble, something and he couldn't get the hang of it he would say "this is a shitun thing." Thankfully, I didn't pick-up on it and start saying it myself, otherwise I would have got a good clout round the ear, which would have left me in a dazed state wondering what I had said.
My mother had a stock answer for when she was preparing dinner. Whenever there was a wonderful smell coming from the oven and you asked her "what's for dinner mam" she would always reply "shim-shams for medlers." I never did find out which part of the meal were the shim-shams, but they always tasted damn good.

I Think We Have All Spoken To Him

A call centre employee in India.
Combining old and new technology!


Ten more Trivia questions to make you put your thinking caps on. See how you get on with this latest brainteaser.

01 Who was the first man to walk in space?
02 What material is made out of Jute?
03 Which famous silent screen comedian died on Christmas Day?
04 What is the old name for Istanbul?
05 What do oak trees grow from?
06 Which is the longest river in Britain?
07 Who was killed in Khartoum in 1885?
08 Which Himalayan kingdom lies north of Bangladesh?
09 Who are the native inhabitants of Australia?
10 Who was the United States President at the start of the Second World War?

The best of luck with your answers!


Thought For Today

To succeed is nothing, it's an accident, but to feel no doubts about oneself is something very different: it is character.
Marie Leneru

Sand Sculptures

Pictures from this year's sand castles competition in Oregon - absolutely amazing.
(Click on images to enlarge).

Bonnie And Clyde - Blind Compassion

Two border collies, Bonnie and Clyde, have been abandoned. New ownwers are being sought for the pair who cannot be seperated, because one is blind and would be lost without the other. Click on the following video link to see and hear more of their story.

Friday, 24 July 2009

Looking Back - Archer Wins Record Damages

On this day in 1987, former deputy chair of the Conservative Party, Jeffrey Archer, was awarded record libel damages at the High Court.

The Daily Star newspaper was ordered to pay the MP £500,000 damages along with £700,000 costs, for a front page story the previous November alleging Mr Archer had paid to have sex with a prostitute.

The total bill of £1.2m made it the fourth most most expensive libel action ever. Such was the depth of the three week trial, Judge Mr Justice Caulfied spoke of the "enormous burden" carried by the jury and excused them from jury service for fifteen years. Daily Star editor Lloyd Turner would only say his paper's owners, Express Newspapers, would be appealing.

The story about Mr Archer paying prostitute Monica Cooghlan £2,000 to go on holiday first appeared in the News of the World in October 1986 and led to his resignation as vice-chair of ther Conservative Party. Five days later the Daily Star compounded the libel by publishing further details of allegations about Mr Archer paying Miss Cooghlan £50 for sex and £20 for extra time' in the September.

In court Mr Archer told the jury he was "an honourable fool" tricked into giving Ms Coghlan money as the newpapers attempted to spoil his political career.

Jeffrey Archer was made a life peer in 1992 for his services to the Conservative Party.

He was involved in an insider dealing scandal in 1994.

In 1999 Archer qwas forced to withdraw from the London mayoral race after his one-time friend Ted Francis revealed he had asked him to provide a false alibi in the 1987 trial. He was also expelled from the Conservative Party for five years.

Archer was eventually in court accused of perjury and perverting the course of justice at the 1987 trial. He was found guilty and sentenced to four years in jail.
For a brief look at Jeffrey Archer's rise to fame, click the video link below:

Why Boy's Need Parents

Florence Nightingale

Florence Nightingale was born in Florence, Italy, on May 12, 1820. The daughter of upper-class British parents, Nightingale pursued a career in nursing, despite family objections, believing it to be God's will. In 1851 she received her initial training in Kaiserworth at a hospital run by an order of Protestant Deaconesses. Two years later she gained further experience as the superintendent at the Hospital for Invalid Gentlewomen in London, England.
After reading a series of correspondence from the London Times in 1854 on the plight of wounded soldiers fighting in the Crimea, Nightingale asked the British secretary of war to secure her entrance into the military hospitals at Scutari, Turkey. He not only granted her permission but designated her the head of an official delegation of nurses. Nightingale worked for the next two years to improve the sanitary conditions of army hospitals and to reorganize their administration. The Times immortalised her as the "Lady with the Lamp"because she ministered to the soldiers throughout the night.
Upon her return to England, Nightingale conducted an exhaustive study of the health of the British army and created a plan for reform that she compiled into a five-hundred-page report entitled Notes on Matters Affecting the Health, Efficiency, and Hospital Administration of the British Army (1858). In 1859 she published Notes on Hospitals, which was followed in 1860 by Notes on Nursing: What It Is And What It Is Not. That same year she established a nursing school at St. Thomas's Hospital in London.
Nightingale wanted to make nursing a respectable profession and believed that nurses should be trained in science. She also advocated strict discipline, an attention to cleanliness, and felt that nurses should possess an innate empathy for their patients. Although Nightingale became an invalid following her stay in the Crimea, she remained an influential leader in public health policies related to hospital administration until her death on August, 1910.

Patty McGuire's Pub

Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances and Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in Dublin. It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.

Patty had recently added special legs to his bar stools, which were the talk of the fashionable east side neighbourhood. All five Nuns sat up at he bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the bar through the front door.

They, too, came for a cold drink and were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw.


That's When The Fight Started

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Lite for £12.
Instead she bought a jar of cold cream for £7.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream

That's when the fight started...

Office Essentials

Today's Smile

Thursday, 23 July 2009

Famous London Pubs - Town Of Ramsgate


In 1393 King Richard II decreed that pubs
must have signs so that the examiner or
tester of ales would know the location of
each pub.
The pictorial sign was developed in the times when the vast majority of the population were illiterate and needed something large, simple and bright to recognise.

Town of Ramsgate, known originally as the Red Cow after a rather bad-tempered red-head barmaid. The Town of Ramsgate came from the Kentish fishermen who landed their fish next door at Wapping Old Stairs. From the balcony at low tide you can still see the post where pirates were executed at Execution Dock. One famous pirate to die there was Captain Kidd, in 1701. As a superstar of the day he pulled a big crowd, among them an ex-lover. Kidd growled: "I have lain with that bitch three times, now she comes to see me hanged." The badly rusted harness was only discovered in the mud this century. During the eighteenth century, the cellars of the pub were used as dungeons for convicts awaiting transportation to America and Australia. There is also a pub nearby called 'The Captain Kidd' after the famous execution.

Reproduced by kind permission of Knowledge of London.

Mexican Maid

Our Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.
My wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.
She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria: "Well, Senora, there are three reasons why I want a pay increase. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Maria: "Your husband said so."
Wife: "Oh."
Maria: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"
Maria: "Your husband did."
Wife: "Oh."
Maria: "My third reason is I am a better lover than you."
Wife: (really furious now) "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Senora ... the gardener did."
Wife: So how much do you want?"

Maxine's World

Always keep several get well cards on your mantle ...
so if unexpected guests arrive , they will think
you've been sick and unable to clean.

Computer Definitions

Log On
Make the wood stove hotter

Log Off
Don't add no more wood.

Keep an eye on that wood stove.

Getting the firewood off the truck.

Floppy Disk
What you get from trying to carry too much firewood.

The thing that split that fire wood/

Hard Drive
Getting home in the winter.