Could You Sleep At Night Living Here (Part 2)

How did they get that car in there!

Tree below-flowers above-some people are just weird!

Who Am I?

Another Who Am I puzzle for you to solve. As usual try and unravel the ten clues given below to reveal the name of a famous celebrity.

01 I was born in Newcastle-upon-Tyne.
02 I am one of five children.
03 I won Boots Group bonniest baby competition.
04 I also appeared in two British Gas adverts.
05 At the age of 9 I joined the Royal Ballet summer school.
06 In 2002 I auditioned for 'Pop Stars The Rivals'.
07 In 2003 I hit the headlines after an altercation in a Guildford nightclub.
08 My name was the title of a song on Lily Allen's debut single 'Smile'.
09 I have appeared in a DVD about ghost hunting.
10 I live in North West London with my famous husband.

Can you guess the identity of our mystery celebrity?

Classified Advertisements

The following Classified Advertisements actually appeared in the paper.

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER
8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel. 1/2 sneaky neighbours dog.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG
Looks like a rat. Been out awhile.
Better be big reward.

FREE PUPPIES
Mother, Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog...Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

More Classified Ads tomorrow.

Have Scooter Will Travel

Have you noticed the alarming increase in the number of mobility scooters running around everywhere. Taking a trip to you local Co-Op about ten-o-clock in the morning these days has become a hazardous nightmare. Dodging scooters, baskets loaded up with bottles of Sanatogen, Alka Seltzer, Steradent tablets and packs of incontinence pants, is like walking across the M25 when it's busy. Thank goodness the following story had a happy ending.

Last Thursday morning James Dunne, owner of a paving company, was driving his truck along the A27 in Shoreham, West Sussex. He was very surprised, and more than a little concerned, to find the vehicle ahead of him in the slow lane was a mobility scooter, trundling along at 8 mph, with cars land lorries thundering past it at speed. Realising the danger Mr Dunne pulled over, ahead of the scooter, and put on his hazard lights, in an attempt to stop the driver who just kept on going. He was about to overtake Mr Dunne's truck before finally giving up and coming to a halt. The situation arose because the driver, 90 years old, Stanley 'Lewis Hamilton' Murphy had popped out to his local newsagents to buy his morning paper. Unfortunately, he took a wrong turn at the nearby Holmbush roundabout and mistakenly got on the slip road to the A27. Mr Murphy, somewhat confused, told Mr Dunne he was trying to drive back to his home, where he lived with his daughter. Police were called, and after realising what had happened, an officer drove Mr Murphy back to his home. Meanwhile, Mr Dunne put Mr Murphy's scooter on the back of his truck and delivered it to his home address. Though I find this story very humorous there are three, rather nice, serious points that come out of it. Firstly, how great that Stanley, at the age of 90, still has the spirit to get on his scooter and get out and about to enjoy his life and retain his independance Secondly, James Dunne, unlike the drivers of the cars and lorries that thundered past Mr Murphy, was not only aware of the dangers, but was also caring and concerned enough to stop and help, possibly saving the old gent's life. Thirdly, despite him breaking half the laws in the highway code, the police said it was unlikely they would take any action against Mr Murphy. In this day and age when little old ladies are sent to prison for not paying their Council Tax, how nice to see some common sense being used to resolve situations such as this.