Monday, 26 October 2009

Trivial Pursuit

It was the board game Time magazine called 'the biggest phenomenon in game history. "Trivial Pursuit was first conceived on 15 December, 1979, by Chris Haney and Scott Abbott. At the time, Chris Haney worked as a photo editor at the Montreal Gazette, and Scott Abbott was a sports journalist for The Canadian Press. The two friends came up with the basic concept of Trivial Pursuit within a few short hours. However, it was until 1981 that the board game was commercially released .On 10 November, 1981, 'Trivial Pursuit' was trademark registered. The same month, one thousand and a hundred copies of Trivial Pursuit were first published in Canada. Haney and Abbott had taken on two more business partners (Ed Werner, corporate lawyer and John Haney, Chris' brother) since 1979 to form the Horn Abbott company, and had raised their initial funding by selling five shares in the company for as little as $1,000. Eighteen-year-old artist, Michael Wurstlin agreed to create the final artwork for Trivial Pursuit in exchange for his five shares.
The first copies of Trivial Pursuit were sold at a loss, the manufacturing costs for the first copies came to seventy-five dollars per game and the game was sold to retailers for fifteen dollars. Trivial Pursuit was licenced to Selchow and Righter a major U.S. game manufacturer and distributor in 1983. The manufacturers financed a successful public relations effort and Trivial Pursuit became a household name.
In December 1993, Trivial Pursuit was named to the 'Games Hall of Fame' by Games magazine.

The Government Cat

The Four Cats!

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good.

But the chemist said his cat do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to Government employee and said, "What can your cat do?" The Government employee called his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff." CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet .....

ate the cookies .....

drank the milk .....

pooped on the paper .....

screwed the other three cats .....and
claimed he injured his back whilst doing so .....

filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions .....

put in for workers compensation .....and

went home for the rest of the day on sick leave .....

Worlds Worst Jokes

I phoned the local builders today, I said to them "Can I have a skip outside my house?" He said, "I'm not stopping you!"
This cowboy walks into a German car showroom and says "Audi!"
I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, "Nearest the bull goes first" He went "Baah" and I went "Moo". He said, "You're closest."
I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said, "I careered off the road."
I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there.
I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of two vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.

Today's Smile+

Who Am I?

Below are ten clues for today's 'Who Am I' puzzle. From these ten clues can you identify the well known mystery celebrity we are looking for? I think you will find it is quite difficult!

01 I was born on 9 July 1957.
02 My place of birth was Parsons Green, London.
03 I am an English comedian, writer and actor.
04 I am probably best known for my cutting wit.
05 I was voted one of the ten greatest wits of all time, alongside Oscar Wilde, Spike Milligan, Noel Coward and Winston Churchill, in a poll by the Guardian.
06 I have married three times, to actress Caroline Quentin, actress Sarah Parkinson and fellow improviso Suki Webster.
07 I underwent severe depression, followed by a complete mental breakdown.
08 I am an ardent fan of silent comedy, about which, I have presented a TV series and written a book.
09 I have been a member of The Comedy Store Players since 1985.
10 In 1999, I starred alongside Ronnie Corbett as one of the ugly sisters in ITV's Christmas pantomime.

Good luck with identifying this well known celebrity!