Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Guess What This is

Prison versus Work

Prison: You spend the majority of your time in a 10x10 cell.

Work: You spend the majority of your time in a 6x6 cubicle/office.

Prison: You get three meals a day, fully paid for.

Work: You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

Prison: You get time off for good behaviour.

Work: You get more work for good behaviour.

Prison: The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.

Work: You must often carry a security card and open all the doors yourself.

Prison: You can watch TV and play games.

Work: You could get fired for watching TV and playing games.

Prison: You get your own toilet.

Work: You have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

Prison: They allow your friends and family to visit.

Work: You aren't even supposed to speak to your family.

Prison: All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.

Work: You get to pay all your expenses to go to work and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

Prison: You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.

Work: You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars

Prison: You must deal with sadistic wardens.

Work: They are called managers.

British Post Cards

Who Am I?

Below are 10 clues in our 'Who Am I?' puzzle. Solve the clues and they will lead you to a well known celebrity. Good luck.

01 I was born on 13 June 1976.
02 My place of birth was Garswood, Lancashire.
03 My middle name is Gail.
04 I have a sister called Tracy and two brothers David and John.
05 I used to perform at charity events with the Starlight Roadshow.
06 I gained my first record deal at the age of 13 with Jelly Street Records.
07 My first entry in the charts was a song called 'One Kiss'.
08 I used to be married to Jack Ryder.
09 I was once in the group Hear'say.
10 I currently appear in a TV soap.

Answer will appear in tomorrows Journal!

The Woodman

On Sunday we published an article entitled 'The Woodman', with pictures of his amazing talent for wood carving. Today we include more examples of his exciting work.

Thought For Today

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Garrison Keillor