Sunday 7 June 2009

Looking Back - Queen Celebrates Silver Jubilee


On this day in 1977, more than one million people lined the streets of London to watch the Royal Family on their way to St Paul's at the start of the Queen's Silver Jubilee celebrations. Despite the rain thousands camped out over night to try to get a better view of the procession as it made its way down the Mall and through Trafalgar Square, Fleet Street and Ludgate Hill. Across Britain millions of people tuned in to watch events on the television and many more celebrated with their own street parties. Roads were quiet and many took the day off work.

At St Paul's 2,700 specially selected guests, including politicians and other heads of state joined in the ceremony which began with Ralph Vaughan Williams' arrangement of the hymn "All people that on earth do dwell" which was played at the Queen's coronation in 1953.

The Queen dressed in pink on her Jubilee Day and accompanied by Prince Phillip, led the procession in the golden state coach. Speaking at the Corporation of London Guildhall lunch, the Queen thanked the peoples of Britain and the Commonwealth for their loyalty and friendship, which, she said, had given her strength and encouragement for the past 25 years. She also thanked the many thousands who had sent messages of congratulations and their good wishes for the future.

The Queen and Prince Phillip then mingled with the crowds who handed them cards and flowers. Later the Royal Family delighted the crowds again with an appearance on the balcony of Buckingham Palace.

The Queen, along with her husband the Duke of Edinburgh, waved as the crowd on the Mall, which resembled a sea of Union Jack flags, sang the National Anthem.


To watch a video clip of the Jubilee Celebrations click on the link below:



Maxine's World


Definitions

Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Spoiled Rotten
What the kids become after as little as 5 minutes with Grandma

Top Bunk
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pyjamas.

Two-Minute Warning
When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Today's Smile


The Tickle Me Elmo Factory

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

Illusion


American Law And Disorder

More hilarious quotations from a book by Charles M Sevilla entitled 'Disorder in the American Courts'.

Attorney: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until next morning?
Witness: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Attorney: The youngest son, the twenty year old, how old is he?
Witness: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Attorney: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Witness: Are you shitting me.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Attorney: So, the date of conception (of the baby) was 8 August
Witness: Yes
Attorney: And what were you doing at that time.
Witness: Getting laid.