Today's Smile - The Sermon

For his Sunday sermon the vicar decided to lecture the congregation on the demons of drink. To press home his point he decided to use some props, a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and a matchbox containing two worms. After ranting on at great length on the subject he told the congregation he would give them a physical demonstration to illustrate how damaging alcohol could be. He took a worm from the matchbox and dropped in the glass of water. The worm was full of life and swam around vigorously in the glass. He then removed the second worm from the matchbox and dropped it into the glass of whiskey. Immediately, the worm shrivelled up and sank to the bottom of the glass. The vicar then addressed the congregation and asked them if anyone could tell him the moral of the story. A little chap at the back of the church jumped to his feet and shouted "drink plenty of whiskey and you'll never get worms".

Eco-friendly Light Bulbs

About a week ago I went into Homebase to buy some 100w pearl light bulbs. Having searched the shelves thoroughly it was obvious there were no 100w bulbs to be found. I asked one of the assistants if they had any. He explained they were gradually running their stock down in line with the EU directive to phase them out. He kindly offered to go and look in the stockroom to see if there were any left. Surprise, surprise! He came back with what he said were the last two. I gratefully took them, suddenly becoming aware these may be the last 100w bulbs I will ever buy. Whilst he was gone I was reading about the new bulbs which will eventually replace the 100w. I was impressed with what it said on the box, particularly how it only burns at 20w but gradually warms up to give a 100w equivalent light. Moreover, and this was really impressive, it would last up to 8 years. I decided to give it a try and bought one. When I tried it at home it took a short while to warm-up but eventually gave off an acceptable light, though I doubt it was equal to 100w. However, I felt it performed well enough and decided, there and then, this was the way to go. Lo and behold, on the fourth day it blew and that was the end of that. Eight years, it didn't even last eight days. It may have been 'Eco' but it certainly wasn't very friendly.

Is The World Going Nuts?

I have always been of the opinion that if two people who are partners cannot get on they should agree to part amicably , move on, and get on with their lives. I make this statement after reading about a guy in Canada who allegedly smeared peanut oil on the door handle of his ex fiances car. He apparently did this because the poor girl suffered from a nut allergy. She was subsequently treated at a nearby medical clinic for an allergic reaction, but suffered no serious lasting effects. I think this is further evidence that the world is going nuts! Perhaps she was from Brazil, called Hazel, worked for Peanuts and drove him up the Wall.

I-Spy - Yesterday's Answers

Yesterday in I-Spy I asked you to guess various objects I was looking at in various rooms of my house. All the objects began with the letter 'T'. Here are the the correct answers.

01 Utility Room..............................Tumble Drier
02 Kitchen......................................Tap
03 Dining Room.............................Tablecloth
04 Lounge......................................Television
05 Bathroom.................................Toothpaste
06 Bedroom...................................Teddy Bear (I'm a big softie really!)