Today's Smile

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.
Got a call centre in Pakistan.
I told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

The Age Of The Photocopier

Police in Dubbo NSW, Australia, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander over his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopier machine. The message He's lying was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the 'lie detector' to be working, the suspect confessed.

A junior typist, who was none too swift, was typing one day when she turned to the secretary and said "I'm almost out of paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper" the secretary told her.With that, the junior took her last remaining blank sheet of paper, put it in the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'bank' copies.

The Royal Oak Scopwick

The Royal Oak Scopwick Around 1900

(Click image to enlarge)

Thanks to reader David Butler for sending me this nostalgic photograph of the Royal Oak pub at Scopwick. My grandparents lived in the corner house directly opposite the pub and we used to visit them almost every Sunday afternoon. That was during the late 1940's and early 1950's and the pub by that time looked much the same as it does today. The landlord in those days was a chap called Frank Rainey, who I believe kept the Royal Oak for many years.

Thank You Gwyn

On Tuesday I received a very nice e-mail from reader Gwyn Chapman. I would like to thank him for his kind comments. Gwyn searched Wikipedia to find a vegetable beginning with the letter 'D'. He came up with the following list: Dandelion, Drumstick, Dolichos Bean, Daikon, Dobberlocks and Dulce. Unfortunately, none of these are listed in the Oxford Dictionary as vegetables. This was in response to the brainteaser that appeared in the Journal on Friday 6th February, when I asked readers to name categories beginning with the letter 'D'. Personally, I don't believe there is a genuine vegetable that applies. But I still hope someone out there can prove me wrong. Not surprisingly, Gwyn was not very impressed with our horse racing tips. However, he related the story of when, as a young lad, he got off the train in Lincoln just as Prince Monolulu arrived on another train. The Prince gave Gwyn's mum a tip for a horse running at Lincoln races, he ends by saying "you guessed - it lost."

Obviously, I am not the only rubbish tipster around!

Footnote

Prince Monolulu was a well known character around the major racetracks of England between the 1920's and the 1950's, with his famous catchphrase "I gotta horse." He was an impressive figure, standing over six feet tall, the colour of ebony and attired in colourful robes befitting a member of African royalty. He claimed to be the personal friend of owners, trainers and jockeys and punters happily paid ten shillings for his privileged information. He used a clever ploy, telling punters the horse would only win providing they did not pass on the information to anyone who had not paid for it. The implication being that if the horse lost it was not his fault, someone had let the cat out of the bag.

Although claiming to be an Abyssinian chief, in reality he was a West Indian, born in St Croix, Danish West Indies. His real name was Peter Carl McKay. He rose to prominence after picking out Spion Kop to win the 1920 Derby. He died in a Middlesex hospital in 1965. The story of his death is intriguing. A horse racing journalist by the name of Jeffrey Bernard visited Prince Monolulu in hospital and offered him a 'strawberry cream' from a box of Black Magic chocolates he had taken in for him. Prince Monolulu subsequently choked to death on it and Bernard bade him farewell.

Who Am I? - Yesterday's Answer

Yesterday I gave you ten more clues from which to work out the identity of a well known personality. You will find the answer below:

Answer - Lulu

Well done to those of you who solved the puzzle!

Save Money With Cartridge King

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