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This cowboy walks into a German car showroom and says "Audi!"
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I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, "Nearest the bull goes first" He went "Baah" and I went "Moo". He said, "You're closest."
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I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said, "I careered off the road."
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I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there.
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I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of two vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
