Judged On His Little White Lies

In 2006 an eminent Australian judge, Marcus Einfield, was caught on speed cameras driving his silver Lexus at 6 mph over the speed limit. Unbelievably, this fairly minor offence led to a two year prison sentence. Read on. The 70 year old, semi-retired judge, possibly the mostly highly regarded in Australia, could hardly be described as a boy racer. He was originally accused of an offence that would have meant a fine of about £36 and had he of come clean and admitted his guilt that would have been the end of the matter. However, inexplicably, the judge decided to try and lie his way out of the conviction. He claimed that on the day in question he had lent the car to an American friend, Professor Theresa Brennan. Satisfied, the magistrates dismissed the case and the judge walked free. A newspaper took up the story and decided to trace Professor Brennan, only to find that at the time of the speeding incident, she had already been dead for three years. The judge then dug an even bigger hole for himself by claiming he had meant a different Theresa Brennan. When this was disproved also, he claimed that on the day in question he had been driving his 94 year old mother's Toyota Corolla, so he couldn't have been at the wheel of the silver Lexus. Alas, there was security camera footage that proved the Toyota Corolla had remained in the garage all day. For the sake of holding his hands up and paying a paltry fine the judge has now been charged with committing perjury. This case is both tragic an farcical at the same time, ruining the reputation of one of Australia's finest judges for a trivial motoring offence that carried a possible £36 fine.

Parish Church Choir And Bellringers Annual Supper

Yesterday I published a short article on Canon J. O. Stephens, vicar of Blankney from 1879 to 1903. During his time as vicar it was customary for the vicar and his wife to invite the choir and bell ringers of the church to a traditional annual supper in Blankney vicarage. The following is a newspaper report, unfortunately date unknown, of one of those suppers.

The members of the Parish Church choir and bell-ringers had their annual supper, which is given by the esteemed Rector, who's generosity is well known in the district as well as outside. Needless to say on this occasion everything was of the best. The best of wishes were exchanged, and the company broke up at 12 o'clock, after a vote of thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Stephens and the young ladies had been carried with hearty sincerity.

In tomorrow's Journal you can read an account of one of these supper evenings as related by one of the choirs tenors (name unknown).

Thought For Today

These days an income is something you can't live without.......or within!

Tom Wilson

Today's Smile

Who Am I? - Sunday's Answer

Who Am I?

The answer to yeasterday's

'Who Am I' was

Johnathan Ross

***********

Canon John Otter Stephens

Blankney Vicarage built in 1880

Canon J. O. Stephens was rector of Blankney from 1879 to 1903. The new vicarage (pictured above) replaced an earlier vicarage which stood in the grounds of the church. The first occupant of the new vicarage was Canon Stephens, who proved to be a quite remarkable man. After a curacy at Belgrave, Leics., in 1858, he became Vicar of Savernake, Wilts., in 1861, of Blankney, Lincs., in 1879 and of All Saints, Tooting, 1903-1912. Made an honorary Canon of Southwark Cathedral in 1914, he died in 1925 at the age of 93. In 1901 when Lady Charles Brudenell-Bruce died, she left money in trust for the creation of a new district and church in memory of her husband, Lord Charles Brudenall-Bruce. A tent church, established at Tooting in 1903 was succeeded by an iron church, and the consecration of All Saints took place in 1906, during the time Canon Stephens was vicar. Canon Stephens was instrumental in the building of Alexandra Hospital in Woodhall Spa.

Over the next few days I will be publishing a series of articles, giving an interesting insight into Canon Stephens time as vicar of Blankney.

Today's Smile

Who Am I?

Today's puzzle is another 'Who Am I', in which you have to solve the ten clues listed below to reveal the identity of our mystery celebrity.

01 I was born in London in 1960.
02 My mother was an actress and radio presenter.
03 I have an elder brother called Paul.
04 I attended Southampton College of Art.
05 I also studied 'Modern European History' at University of London.
06 I co-presented 'Comic Relief' in 1989.
07 I was a regular panellist on 'They Think It's All Over'.
08 In 2005 I was awarded an OBE.
09 In 2006 I interviewed David Cameron.
10 I am also known for owning exotic pets.

Do you know who our talented mystery celebrity is?

Looking Back - Queen Mother Dies

On this day in 2002 Buckingham Palace announced that the Queen Mother had died in her sleep, aged 101. She passed away at 1515 GMT at the Royal Lodge, Windsor. Prince Charles, who was on holiday in Switzerland with his sons Prince William and Harry, was said to be "completely devastated." Tributes flooded in from people paying their respects and from all corners of society. Prime Minister Tony Blair led the tributes with a statement from his country retreat at Chequers. Plans for her mourning and burial - which had been in place for many years, were quickly put into action. Ten days of national mourning until the ceremonial funeral at West Minster Abbey. The Queen Mothers coffin was to rest at Windsor for three days before being taken to the Queen's Chapel at St Jame's Palace. It was to be carried in ceremonial procession to Westminster hall where, after a service, it was to lie in state until the eve of the funeral. It was to rest on the same spot where her husband King George VI lay in state in February 1952, guarded by a contingent of Gentleman at Arms and Yeomen of the Guard. The Queen Mother would then be laid to rest beside her husband in St George's Chapel at Windsor Castle. More than a million people lined the route of the Queen Mother's funeral cortege. And the poignant pomp and ceremony of the momentous occasion was watched around the world as the popularity of the Royal Family soared.

They Knew That 150 Years Ago

Most people at some point in their lives have heard of Mrs Beeton, author of Mrs Beeton's Book of Household Management, and the most famous cookery writer in British history. I was intrigued to see her name mentioned in a recent article. The article in question related to a study carried out in Iran and concluded that drinking very hot tea can increase the risk of throat cancer. The Golestan Province in Iran has one of the highest rates of throat cancer in the world, despite its residents not smoking much and drinking little alcohol. However, nearly all the patients affected by throat cancer were found to drink very hot black tea, consuming more than a litre a day. What emerged from their findings was that people who drank tea at high temperatures were more likely to get oesophageal cancer. The scientists do not advocate drinking less tea but say tea should be left to stand for five minutes before pouring. There is no suggestion that drinking high volumes of tea is dangerous, and the fact that Western drinkers add milk to the tea automatically cools it down. What I found really interesting was a comment made by David Whiteman from the Queensland Institute of Medical Research in Australia who said: "We should follow the advice of Mrs Beeton, who prescribes a 5-10 minute interval between making and pouring tea, by which time the tea will be sufficiently flavoursome and unlikely to cause thermal injury." Amazing, it has taken a team of scientists in this day and age to come up with findings discovered by Mrs Beeton 150 years ago.

Today's Smile

Horseracing

Huzzah, our selection for yesterday's Lincoln Handicap, gave us a great run for our money when finishing fifth of the twenty runners, behind the classy hot favourite Expresso Star. Huzzah led the centre group at the two furlong pole before tiring and finishing one-paced.

Profit/Loss +2.25 Points

Fifty Years An Organist

I recently came across an old clipping, entitled Fifty Years An Organist, and dated 1932. It read as follows:

Fifty years' service by Mr. W. E. Edwards, a retired school master, as organist and choirmaster to Blankney parish church, under three rectors, was rewarded last night, when Mr John Cartwright (Metheringham) made the presentation of a sedan armchair on behalf of the parishioners.
When performing the ceremony, Mr Cartwright (vicar's warden) said he had been associated with Mr. Edwards all the time he had been in the village and he had a great respect for his long service. The Rev. C. H. Sibthorp, rector of Blankney, said that only a prior engagement prevented the Earl of Londesborough from being present. He warmly congratulated Mr. Edwards upon a marvellous record on not missing a single Sunday service and never being late, unless prevented by illness or holiday.
Mr W. F. Nunn (people's warden) announced that although they were not able to be present Lady Londesborough, Lady Carisbrooke, Miss L. A. James and Mrs. and Miss Gurney, wished to associate themselves with the function.
Mr J. E. West said he came to Blankney in 1882, the same year as Mr. Edwards and no-one realised better than he the excellent work Mr. Edwards had performed.
Expressing thanks, Mr. Edwards said he was deeply touched by the appreciation which he valued very highly. He received rather a shock on coming to Blankney as schoolmaster when he was asked to take over the post of organist and choirmaster without previous experience. At the time he said he would try and had just gone on trying ever since.

Horseracing

Today sees the start of the 2009 Flat racing season, and the first big race of the year, the William Hill Lincoln (Heritage Handicap) run over a mile at Doncaster (3.55). The 'Lincoln' is always a tricky affair, as most of the horses have been 'laid out' for the race. The horse we are going to put forward for this valuable £125,000 added race is Huzzah, a 4.y.o. bay colt, trained at Lambourn by Barry Hills (pictured right), and ridden by his son Michael. Huzzah is an early type, winning both of his first two starts in 2008, at Newbury and Chester. He goes on any ground, having won on good/firm and good/soft and he ran well on this track last September when running third to a horse called Virtual, beaten under 2 lengths. But for being slowly away on that occasion he may well have won. The high draw may well prove an advantage and he runs here off a fair handicap mark. You can never be confident in a race like the 'Lincoln' but we are hopeful that Huzzah will run a big race and we expect to see him there or thereabouts at the business end of the race. Barry Hills won this race in 2003 with a horse called Pablo (Won 5/1).
Footnote
The Lincoln is a one mile handicap flat race for four year olds and over, run usually in March at Doncaster racecourse. The Lincoln at Doncaster was first run there in 1965 but the actual history of the race goes back much further. The race was moved to Doncaster after the closure of its original venue Lincoln Racecourse which ceased holding race meetings in 1964. The race had first been run at Lincoln in 1853. At Lincoln the race was known as the Lincolnshire Handicap. The 2007 race was run at Newcastle Racecourse (1m 3yds) and the 2006 race was run at Redcar Racecourse.

Today's Smile

Blankney Pictures

The Lake, Blankney Hall

As you walked out of the front door of Blankney Hall, it led onto a terrace, which in turn stepped down into the sunken gardens. Beyond the sunken gardens a path led down to the lake. The lake was a man made structure, circling a small island, accessed by the wooden bridge pictured above. At the north end of the lake stood a summer house. Growing along the eastern bank of the lake was a mass of bamboo canes giving the waters edge a tropical feel. In more modern times the lake became known as bamboo island, because of this unusual feature.

Brainteaser - Friday's Answer

How did you get on with the Friday brainteaser? The answer to the ten 'trivia' questions are set out below.

01 In Babylon.
02 From Paris.
03 A colony.
04 St. Peter's, in Rome.
05 Alaska.
06 Five.
07 A lama.
08 Heat.
09 In mosques.
10 Constellations.

9/10 Excellent 7/8 Very Good 5/6 Good - Below 5 Could do better!

Pot Calling The Kettle Black

The fate of £954m deposited by more than 100 councils and other public bodies in Icelandic banks remains uncertain. Seven of those councils have been accused of investing £33 into the banks just days before they collapsed, despite warnings about their solvency. Whilst the councils are being pilloried for their apparent incompetence, two things should be taken into account. Firstly, the Audit Commission, the countries spending watchdog, who announced lessons had to be learnt, had themselves invested £10m into these same banks. This led to one council rejecting the criticism and claiming it was a case of the 'pot calling the kettle black'. Secondly, the Conservatives claim that the Treasury was aware of concerns about the stability of the Icelandic banking system early in 2008, but failed to pass the information on to local councils. As long ago as 30 September the credit ratings of Glitnir and Landsbanki, two of Iceland's biggest banks, were downgraded to 'adequate', below the deemed acceptable under guidance to Town Halls. Despite the alarm bells already ringing several councils continued to invest millions of pounds during early October, a week before the two banks went bust. All this suggests mistakes were made by the councils, the government and the Audit Commission. Why did all these authorities invest in the banks of one of the smallest countries in the world, after all, they are hardly recognised as one of the great financial institutions of the global economy. The simple reason was, they offered higher interest rates to investors than any one else in the financial sector. In reality, the root cause of the problem arose because none of the investing authorities took into account the wisdom behind an old adage that says "if something looks too good to be true.....it usually is."

Today's Smile

Brainteaser

Today's brainteaser is 'Trivia', ten questions to test your general knowledge. Give them a try and see how you get on!

01 Where are the famous Hanging Gardens?
02 From which city did the Orient Express leave on its journey to Istanbul?
03 What is the group name for a collection of ants?
04 Which is the largest church in the world?
05 The United States bought a country from Russia for 2 cents an acre. Which country?
06 How many events are there in a pentathlon?
07 What is the name for a Tibetan priest?
08 What do you measure with a calorimeter?
09 Where do Moslems worship?
10 What are the Great Bear and the Little Bear?

Good luck with these fairly difficult questions!

Thought For Today

There are worse things than looking stupid.
Sleeping through life is one of them.

Laura Preble (The Queen Geek Social Club 2006)

The Elephant Angel

This story started me thinking about something that had never before occurred to me. During the first and second world wars, what happened to all the animals? During the blitz many bombed out homes would also have been home to family pets, particularly dogs and cats. Many will have been killed, along with their owners, others that survived, would have been terrified and would probably have run away and become homeless. Some were more fortunate, like Sheila, the elephant pictured in our photograph. Sheila had arrived at Belfast zoo in the late 1930s and lived until the early 1960s. During the 1941 blitz on Belfast, Sheila was moved out of the zoo for safety reasons. She was sheltered by a mystery woman who kept the elephant calf in her back garden. "The woman is something of a zoo legend," said manager Joy Bond, adding: "The pictures have been here a long time but nobody had been able to identify her." The woman dubbed the 'elephant angel' is thought to be one of the two women pictured above. Now the zoo are issuing the old black and white photographs in the hope that someone might be able to identify her. Commenting on Sheila's thirty year stay at the zoo, Mark Challis, zoo chief, said "If it wasn't for the care of this lady, that may not have been the case." To date, several people had called the zoo saying they could have been the woman's neighbours. During the war the government ordered the killing of 33 animals including one hyena, six wolves, one puma, one tiger, one black bear, two polar bears and one lynx, due to fears they could escape during air raids, the zoo said.

Illusion

How scary is this amazing illusion.

Stare at the four dots for about 30 seconds.

Then close your eyes and tilt your head back.

Keep them closed.

What do you see?

Who Am I? - Wednesday's Answer

********************

Did you solve the 10 clues given, and work out the name

of yesterday's mystery celebrity?

The answer was:

PIERS MORGAN

********************

It's Not Easy Being Your Own Boss

A man owned a small farm in the south west of WA. The Department of Consumer & Employment Protection heard that he was not paying proper wages to his employees and sent an agent down to interview him.
"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $400 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $450 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally."
"That's the guy I want to talk to - the half-wit,"says the agent.
"That would be me," replied the farmer.

Today's Smile

April Showers Put Cricket On A Sticky Wicket

Chairman of the IPL Lalit Modi (right) with

South African cricket boss Gerald Majola

Not only does the English weather spoil our holidays, garden fetes and barbecue's, it seems it has now cost us the opportunity to host The 2009 Indian Premier League Twenty20 Tournament. Shame, as it would have given a much needed boost to the English cricket scene. But IPL boss, Lalit Modi, has opted to take the tournament to South Africa, following concerns that it was unsafe to stage the matches in India. One of the reasons given was the unreliability of the English weather. Ah well, at least if the England team get humiliated, it's probably better it happens in South Africa rather than here under our noses. After all, it will be bad enough having to contend with soggy hot dogs and beefburgers.

Poem - Blankney Park

Blankney Park looking towards the lake.

Blankney may have lost it's magnificent stately Hall, destroyed by fire in 1945, but what has survived is it's wonderful park. At least, most of it has survived, because the original park was much larger than that we see today, many acres have come under the plough following the decline in the livestock trade. Since 1904 it has been home to Blankney Golf Club, one of the finest parkland courses in the country. Apart from the golf course it has many other interesting facets, some of which are described in the following poem.

Blankney Park

The gravel road, two metres wide

Snakes westward to the heath

On either side stand ancient trees

Where blue stalks grow beneath

To left and right the golf course sprawls

Where many a dimpled ball

Has been driven over this stony road

That links Green Man with Blankney Hall

A crazy paving patterned bridge

Spans the rippling pond

The now redundant rectory stands

Behind tall trees beyond

The ice house capped by grassy mound

Was once the Hall's cold store

The bomb hole, wrongly thought by some

A relic from the war

And in the centre of the park

A hidden woodland cave

The Rockery , once a hallowed shrine

Where headstones marked each grave

Buried here her Ladyship's

Favourite dog and horse

Quite unknown to most of those

Who play the nearby course

Woodland glades and grassy slopes

Ensure that it is worth

An evening stroll through Blankney park

A perfect peace on earth

-

Rodney Garlant

Who Am I?

Can you solve the 10 'Who Am I' clues below, to work out the name of our mystery celebrity.


01 I was born in Newick, East Sussex.
02 I will be 44 in six days time.
03 My middle name is Stefan.
04 I studied journalism at Harlow College.
05 I worked at Lloyds of London.
06 I have worked for Kelvin MacKenzie.
07 I have also worked for Rupert Murdoch.
08 I presented a BBC series called 'Importance of Being Famous.'
09 I appeared in the Comic Relief version of 'The Apprentice.'
10 I co-hosted a current affairs programme for Channel4 with Amanda Platell.

Today's Smile

Fw: Illusion

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com/
Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.24/2017 - Release Date: 03/22/09 17:51:00

I received this great e-mail from Eve in Tasmania. It is pure illusion, the pink dots in the image never change in reality, only in your mind. Weird but true! Click on the image above.. If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dots, the dots will remain only one colour pink. However if you stare at the black '+' in the centre, the moving dot turns to green. Now concentrate on the black '+' in the centre of the picture. After a short period, all the pink dots will slowly disappear and you will see only a single green dot rotating.

The Eye Test

THE EYE TEST

Can you find the B

(There are 2 B's)

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

RRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

RRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Once you've found the B

Find the two 6's

9999999999999999999999999999999999

9999999999999999999999999999699999

9999999999999999999999999999999999

9999999999999999999999999999999999

9999999699999999999999999999999999

9999999999999999999999999999999999

Once you've found the two 6's

Find the Q

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Once you've found the Q

Find the N

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMM

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Brainteaser - Monday's Answer

On Monday you were asked to study the names of eight celebrities and try to spot a common link between them. As stated the link was not between the celebrities themselves, only their names.

Answer:

They all had first names that were

Kings and Queens

Congratulations to any readers who

found the correct answer!

Sir Osbert Sitwell - Inside Blankney Hall

The picture on the right is of Osbert Sitwell aged 10. Later to become Sir Osbert Sitwell, famous poet, art critic, writer and journalist. He was born in December 1892, the son of Sir George Reresby Sitwell and Lady Ida Emily Augusta Denison. His mother was the daughter of the 1st Earl of Londesborough, William Henry Forester Denison. As a young boy, Osbert, for many years regularly spent Christmas, with his parents and his extended family, at Blankney Hall. In his book 'The Scarlet Tree' he relates some fascinating insights about life in the Hall in the early 1900s. In November 1903, at the age of 10, whilst in his third term at school, he wrote a letter to his mother, who was in Naples at the time. In it he asked if they would be spending Christmas at Blankney. The family did spend the holidays at Blankney and heavy snow ensured it was a white Christmas. Osbert described the scene as they approached the Hall. An immense stone building, standing a dead weight in the snow, of regular appearance, echoing in rhythm the empty syllables of its name and the colour of lead outside. He observed the interior was always brilliantly lit, its hospitable fires blazing, flickering like lions within the cages of its huge grates and compared it to a cave of ice, a magnificent igloo in the surrounding white and mauve negation. Few fine pictures in the large rooms, leading one into the other. Here and there, ivory mirrors and other sumptuous objects, some given by George IV and bearing on them the Royal Arms. The main sitting room was full of chairs and sofas, piled with cushions, with tables with many newspapers and weekly journals on them, and green-baize card tables ready for play. White fur rugs covered a light polished floor, with tall palm trees, carnations and poinsettias and standard lamps glowing softly under silk shades in evidence. There were writing tables, too, silver vases and square silver photograph frames, silver inkstands and lapis paper-weights. Near the fireplace two jocularly painted wooden screens, representing peasants in costume. He went on to recall broad white passages leading to thickly carpeted bedrooms and the white arches on one side of the corridor looking down on hall and staircase. He recalls the smell of wood ash and logs, the lingering odour perhaps of rosewater or perfume and a fragrance of Turkish cigarettes. He sees for a moment the women, with narrow waists, full skirts and hair piled up. Above all he remembers the sound of music. Sometimes a string band playing in the sitting room but more often tunes being ground out by several mechanical organs, operated by turning a handle,vast machines, tall as cupboards, standing along the passages. Osbert then makes reference to the large gathering of family members and he remembers the voices mingling with the music. He refers to them as seeming as if they were left over from other centuries. He also recalls the packs of pet dogs and their quarrelsome, rasping noises as they demanded to be taken out into the cold air. His attention then turns back to outside, and snowflakes scurrying past on the east wind. The house, the church, the stables, the kennels formed a dark solid nucleus, a colony in a flat landscape, he knew the village was somewhere near, yet out of reach under the snow. He was also aware that the ancient city of Lincoln stood eleven miles away.

Cheers, Oooops!!!!!

Thought For Today

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.

Sir Winston Churchill

Brainteaser

Another round of 'link the names', much easier than the last one. All you have to do is study the names of the eight well known celebrities, listed below. As before, the link is not between the personalities themselves, it is their names that contain the link. Can you spot what it is?

01 Henry Hall
02 Elizabeth Hurley
03 Edward Woodward
04 John Motson
05 Charles Bronson
06 Victoria Wood
07 George Best
08 Alfred Hitchcock

If you think you know the answer, e-mail me at garlant@btinternet.com Good luck!

More Funny Signs!

In a department store in Vancouver, Canada: Bargain Basement Upstairs.

In a restaurant in Norfolk, Virginia, USA: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

In a pub in West Sussex which is non-smoking: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

In an Ottowa, Canada, clothing store: Wonderful bargains for men with 18 and 19 necks.
,
At an Optician's in Fareham, UK: If you don't see what you're looking for,you have come to the right place.

Looking Back - Cold War Goes Into Space

On this day in 1983 US President, Ronald Reagan, unveiled plans to combat nuclear war in space. The Strategic Defense Initiative (SDI) proposed a defensive shield using laser or particle beam technology to intercept and destroy incoming missiles as they travel through the stars. In a televised address from the White House the US leader said "We seek neither military superiority nor political advantage. Our only purpose - one all people share - is to search for ways to avert the danger of nuclear war." The Democrats in the US - and even some Republicans - claimed Reagan's initiative was an expensive and unfeasible diversion from his administration's domestic failures. Reagan's SDI became known as "Star Wars" - after the George Lucas film. SDI signalled a new round in the Arms Race and a worsening of the relationship between the US and the USSR. President Andropov of the USSR was highly critical of the plan, saying it violated the 1972 ABM Treaty and there was little difference between building up weapons for purportedly defensive or offensive purposes. SDI was abandoned in 1993 and the department was renamed the Ballistic Missile Defence organisation.

Who Am I? - Sunday's Answer

The answer to yesterday's

Who Am I

was

Fern Britton

Mother's Day - 22 March 2009

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

Today is 'Mothers Day' and my wish for mother's everywhere is to have a nice relaxing day, and accept all the pampering that comes your way. As one mother said:

************

Even when they leave home,

you never stop worrying as a Mum.

There is always the nagging worry

they might come back.

************

It is uncertain as to what the origins of Mothering Sunday really were. One school of thought suggests it is derived from a custom of mother worship in ancient Greece, which kept a festival to Cybele, a great mother of Greek gods. The ancient Romans also had another holiday, Matronalia, that was dedicated to Juno, though mothers were usually given gifts on this day. In the United Kingdom and Ireland, Mothering Sunday falls on the fourth Sunday of Lent, exactly three weeks before Easter Sunday.

Pennies From Heaven

Two suspected drug dealers caused chaos on a California interstate by throwing thousands of dollars from their pickup truck as police gave chase. Other motorists took their lives in their hands to chase the $20 and $100 bills on Interstate 5, near San Diego.

Click the following link http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7955984.stm as people risk their lives in pursuit of free money.

Horseracing

Yesterday's selection Scintillo (WON 8/1) battled gamely to hold off the favourite Premio Loco by a nose to land the £100,000 Winter Derby at Lingfield. It was a great performance by Scintillo, racing for the second time in four days after winning at Kempton last Wednesday. Richard Hughes rode the selection up with pace, before going to the front inside the final furlong. The horse was immediately joined by the favourite Premio Loco, but kept putting his head out all the way to the line. This win means we have moved into profit on all selections since the Journal started on 1 January.

Profit/Loss +3.25 Points

Who Am I?

Ten more clues in our latest Who Am I puzzle. From the information given in the clues can you work out the name of our famous celebrity?

01 I was born in 1957.
02 I am twice married.
03 I have 4 children.
04 I was born in Ealing.
05 My father is a famous actor.
06 My broadcasting career began at Westward Television.
07 I used to present 'Ready Steady Cook'.
08 In 2006 I co-hosted the 'British Soap Awards'
09 I was a presenter on 'Spotlight' for BBC South West.
10 I have a sister called Cherry and a half brother called Jasper.

The best of luck with this teaser!

Thought For Today

However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.

Today's Smile

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie.
'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'
So he tied up ................and went golfing!

Looking Back - Ernie Wise Dies

On this day in 1999 one of Britain's best loved comedians, Ernie Wise, died aged 73. The news of his death in the Nuffield Hospital, in Wrexham Park near Slough, plunged the world of show business into mourning. He was being cared for at the hospital after returning to the UK from Florida where he had undergone a triple bypass operation. Born Ernie Wiseman, he forged his comedy partnership with Eric Bartholomew (Eric Morecambe) when he was 16.

Morecambe and Wise

Morecambe and wise were a comedy legend for generations of people in Britain and have continued to be remembered and honoured since their death. They were honoured with posthumous fellowships at the British Academy Television Awards. The Queen unveiled a statue of Eric Morecambe in the resort in Lancashire from which the comedian took his name.

Go to next article and click on link to watch Morecambe and Wise video!

BBC Video/Audio: 1999: Comic Ernie Wise dies

** 1999: Comic Ernie Wise dies **

One of Britain's most loved and most successful comedians, Ernie Wise, dies aged 73. (First broadcast 21 March 1999)
< http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediaselector/check/player/nol/newsid_6540000/newsid_6546100?redirect=6546169.stm&news=1&bbram=1&bbwm=1&nbwm=1&nbram=1 >

Today's Smile

Silly Notices

This sign can be found at the front of Safeway Store in Seattle, USA
For Sale: 100% Recycled Compost
(Is there any other way to produce compost?)

Adult Literacy leaflet in Chelmsford, Essex, UK
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

Written on the side of a plumbing truck in San Francisco
Don't sleep with a drip call your plumber

In a restaurant in Norfolk, Virginia,USA
Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

Always Read The Label First

Despite painting a large red 'X' on the front door and draping strings of garlic over the back door, not to mention leaving a few blood stained wooden stakes around the place, I still failed to stop the dreaded council tax bill from getting in. There it was, in it's murky brown envelope, lying on the mat waiting to be opened. I picked it up, put it on the desk, and left it there unopened. Well, I wasn't going to spoil my breakfast. When I finally decided to open it I immediately went in to my 'grumpy old man' mode and started my annual rant about North Kesteven District Council. Like, why does it cost over £1,300 a year just to empty the garbage bins? We don't have street lighting, we don't even have a footpath, what does the council spend my money on? Apart from gilt-edge staff pension funds and junkets for senior management. Having calmed down, I took the little book that comes with the Council Tax bill, and went to put it in the recycling bin. Then I did something I have never done before, instead of binning it I decided to read it. Strange thing to do, after all nobody ever reads those little books, do they? Surprisingly, I'm glad I did, it made me look at council tax in a whole different light. Let's look at the facts. I was informed by a pie-chart, that looked like a smilie with a hat on, that in fact poor old North Kesteven District Council, who collect the tax, only get to keep 9.4% of the total. 4.2% goes to Parish/Town Councils, the Police Authority get 12.4% and a whopping 73.9% goes to Lincolnshire County Council. The average household in North Kesteven pays just over £11 per month for all of the District Council services. For this the District Council provide, rubbish/recycling collection, public health complaints, restaurants, pubs and take-aways inspection, council housing, council tax and housing benefits, tourist attractions, planning and building control, community safety, free bus travel for over 60's, community access points, rate relief to organisations and business and so on. Services provided by Lincolnshire County Council include education and care for children and young people, waste recycling centres, trading standards, maintenance of 5,600 miles of roads plus cycleways and footpaths, road safety, public transport, jobs creation, direct payment support, and carers. Learning, culture and entertainment through libraries and museums. Add to all this the fire service and working in partnership to tackle crime and disorder, anti-social behaviour and substance misuse. The money paid to the Police Authority provides a police presence in the community and a communications and back-up service that allows us to feel relatively safe in an age of rising crime and violence. Current staff numbers are 1,188 Police Officers, 935 Police Staff and 149 Police Community Support Officers (PCSO's). Obviously, not every member of the community benefit from all the services provided, but the structure is in place to help every member of community if and when required. For me, one thing has become clear, I get a lot more for my money than just getting my bins emptied. As they say it always pays to read the label.

Horseracing

The big race of the day today is the Sportingbet.com Winter Derby run at Lingfield Park (3.05). The horse we fancy for this is Scintillo trained by Richard Hannon and ridden by Richard Hughes. The 4.y.o chestnut makes a quick reappearance after running at Kempton last Wednesday. That was over 12 furlongs, but today's drop back in trip to 10 furlongs, should not inconvenience the selection.

Saturday 21 March 2009

Lingfield 3.05

*Scintillo*

The best of luck with this selection.

Brainteaser - Friday's Answer

I think you would need to be a super sleuth to crack yesterday's brainteaser. I did warn you it was tricky! In fact I'd go so far as to say the answer was somewhat obscure.

Answer:

All the names were linked by the fact that each celebrities first name and surname both contained the letter 'O'.

Well done to any reader who got this one correct!

Thought For Today

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

Looking Back -Royal Kidnap Attempt

On this day in 1974, Princess Anne and her husband Captain Mark Phillips were returning to Buckingham Palace after attending a charity film screening in the City. As their chauffeur-driven Rolls-Royce drove along Pall Mall it was forced to halt by another car which blocked the route. Six shots were fired at the royal car, injuring four people, but the couple escaped unhurt. The assailant had emerged from a light coloured vehicle and had fired the shots, whilst at the same time trying to jump into the Princess's car.
Two of the injured were Inspector James Beaton, the Princess's private detective, who managed to fire a shot at the man before he was injured, and
the chauffeur, Alex Callender, one of the Queen's senior drivers. Both men were taken to Westminster Hospital where they underwent surgery. Also injured was a police officer, who attended after hearing the shots, and was hit in the stomach, together with a man who had been passing by in a taxi. Rowena Brassey, Lady-in-waiting to Princess Anne was also present but escaped injury. The man was eventually arrested after being brought to the ground by a police officer. The Princess was said to be shocked but not injured in any way. It was later revealed that the shooting had been an attempt to kidnap the Princess. The assailant had sent a letter to the Queen demanding £3m for her release. Ian Ball, 26, was prosecuted for the attempted murder of the princess's detective, and various offences under the Offences Against the Person Act. Ball was sentenced to life imprisonment and placed in a mental hospital. His attempt to kidnap Princess Anne remains the closest attempt anyone has made on abducting a member of the Royal Family.

Today's Smile

Brainteaser

For today's brainteaser you are given the names of six famous people. Can you identify the link between them? A clue: the link is not between the people themselves but between their names.

Can you spot what it is? If so e-mail me with your answer garlant@btinternet.com

01 John Major

02 Gloria Hunniford

03 George Cole

04 Simon Cowell

05 Sharon Osbourne

06 Joan Collins

Good luck with this, but it is tricky!

Two Little Pals

Niagara Falls

I find the picture on the right, of a frozen Niagara Falls, fascinating. It's as if the power of the water has been encapsulated in the ice. The picture was taken in 1911.

Niagara Falls

The Niagara Falls are renowned both for their beauty and as a valuable source of hydroelectric power. Managing the balance between recreational, commercial, and industrial uses has been a challenge for the stewards of the falls since the 1800s. The Niagara Falls are massive waterfalls on the Niagara River, straddling the international border between the Canadian province of Ontario and the U.S. state of New York. Niagara Falls is made up of three drops, Horseshoe Falls, the majority of which lies on the Canadian side of the border, and American Falls on the American side.These two major sections are separated by Goat Island. The smaller Bridal Veil Falls also is located on the American side, separated from the main falls by Luna Island. The Falls are 167 ft (52m) high. More than six million cubic feet of water falls over the crest line every minute at high flow. It is the most powerful waterfall in North America.

Thought For Today

Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a sky devoid of stars......Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.
Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

Two Little Pals

It's Not All Bad

I've sure gotten old!

I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,

New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes

I'm half blind,

Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,

Take 40 different medications that

Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.

Have bouts with dementia

Have poor circulation;

Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.

Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.

Have lost all my friends. But, thank God

I still have my driver's licence.

*********************

Blankney Pictures

The Blankney Foxhounds meet at

the entrance to Blankney Park

Today's Smile

A young office clerk skived out of work to go and get his haircut. The barber was half way through cutting his hair when, who should walk in but his boss.

Boss: "What the hell do you think you're doing?
Young Clerk: "Getting my haircut."
Boss: "Not in my time you don't."
Young Clerk: "Why not? It grows in your time."
Boss: "Not all of it doesn't"
Young Clerk: "Well I'm not having it all off."

Poem - Blankney Wildlife

One day 1n 1995 I was walking from home to my office, a distance of not more than 500 yards. In that short distance there were five creatures killed on the road. It was that experience that inspired the following poem. I hope you enjoy it.

Blankney Wildlife

We live in the age of the motor car
There is no turning back
The village is now dissected
By a tarmac racing track
And those who race, from place to place
Seem totally unaware
Of the creatures mown down in their path
I doubt they even care
A rabbit lying in the road
Eyes still open wide
His soft fur bristles in the wind
But no heart beats inside
And further on the hedgehog
His rooting days now done
Is just a fur lined heap of spines
Baking in the sun
A mistle thrush lies by the fence
Her final song now sung
No doubt returning to the nest
To feed her hungry young
The pheasant tossed upon the verge
Plumage glistening in the sun
At least will never know his fate
One day to fly before the gun
Should we not consider more
These creatures, meek and mild
Today a rabbit, hedgehog, bird
Perhaps tomorrows child

Rodney Garlant

Who Am I? - Wednesday's Answer

The answer to yesterdays

Who Am I?

was

Sir Alex Ferguson

(Manchester United Manager)

Well done to those readers

who successfully identified

Sir Alex