ANOTHER UNBEATABLE OFFER FROM TESCO?
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Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an
unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve
both problems by taking out a large insurance policy
on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and
then arrange to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a
nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by
the name of 'Artie...'
Artie then explained to the husband that his going
price for snuffing out a spouse was £500......
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount,
but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he
could collect his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something up
front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the
single £1 coin that rested inside. Artie rolled
his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the £1 as
down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the
local Tesco Super Store. There, he surprised her in
the produce department and proceeded to strangle her
with his gloved hands, and as the poor unsuspecting
woman drew her last breath and slumped to the
floor......
The manager of the produce department stumbled
unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to
leave any living witnesses behind ol' Artie had no
choice but to strangle the produce manager as well,
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings
were captured by the hidden security cameras and
observed by the store's security guard, who
immediately called the police. Artie was caught and
arrested before he could even leave the store....
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie
revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual
financial arrangements with the hapless husband who
was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline
declared.....
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Wait for it........
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Get ready........
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Here it comes.......
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'ARTIE CHOKES 2 FOR £1 AT TESCO!'
