The New Alphabet

A is for apple, and B is for Boat,

That used to be right, but now it won't float!

Age before beauty is what we once said,

But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

THE NEW ALPHABET
A is for arthritis;
B is for the bad back,
C is for the chest pains
Perhaps car-d-iac?



D is for dental decay and decline.
E is for eyesight, can't read the top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention.


H is high blood pressure - I'd rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescription, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new.
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.


S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; bells inmy ears!
U is for urinary, troubles with flow;
V for vetigo, that's 'dizzy' you know.

W for worry. Now what's going round?
X is for x-ray, and what might be found.
Y for another yaer, I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have - in my mind.



I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!