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This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.
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I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No permanent."
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I went into a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."
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I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best before End."
