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I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on.
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The recruitment consultant asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said, "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."
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I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, "You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana." He said, "No, this for the custard."
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This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a very thin piece of paper. He said, "I want you to trace someone for me."
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I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."
