**************************
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
**************************
I went to the local video shop and I said, "Can I borrow Batman Forever?" He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back on Monday."
*************************
A waiter asks a man, "May I take your order, sir?" "Yes", the man replies. "I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?" "Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die.
************************
