Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite
Good King Wenceslas phoned for a pizza.
The salesgirl asked him, 'Do you want your usual?
Deep pan, crisp and even?'
Maria went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.'What denomination?' asked the clerk.
'Oh! Good heavens! Have we come to this?' said Maria, 'Well give me 50 Methodist and 50 Church of England ones please.'
The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when Emily, a young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap.
Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?'
'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly.
'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What would you like me to bring her?'
Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'
What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?
'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly.
'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What would you like me to bring her?'
Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'
What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?
This will sleigh you.
What is the purpose of reindeer?
It makes the grass grow, sweetie.
It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, 'What are you charged with?'
The prisoner replied, 'Doing my Christmas shopping too early.'
'That's no crime', said the magistrate. 'Just how early were you doing this shopping?' Before the shop opened', answered the prisoner.
The prisoner replied, 'Doing my Christmas shopping too early.'
'That's no crime', said the magistrate. 'Just how early were you doing this shopping?' Before the shop opened', answered the prisoner.
