Pilots And Mechanics

Taken from actual Qantas so called 'gripe sheets' on which pilots report any problems to mechanics after each flight.


Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Mechanic: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Mechanic: Evidence removed.

Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Mechanic: DME volume set to more believably level.

Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Mechanic: That's what they're there for.

Pilot: IFF inoperative.
Mechanic: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.