Witty Bits

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did , in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car!

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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where's the f*****g roof!

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Anything you say will be held against you ....................... "tits!"

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A computer once beat me at chess. But it was no match for me at kick boxing!