Friday's Who Am I Answer
was
BING CROSBY
Well done if you solved the puzzle!
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
That's When The Fight Started
A man staggered into the casualty department of a hospital, he had severe concussion, two black eyes, multiple bruising and a five iron wrapped tightly round his throat.
Naturally, the doctor asked him "What happened to you?"
The man managed to croak ... "Well my wife and I were having a quiet round of golf, we were playing the eighth ... a difficult hole at the best of times ... anyway we both sliced our balls into a field full of cattle. We went to look for them and as we were walking round, I noticed that one of the cows had something white at it's rear end. I went oveer, lifted it's tail, and sure enough there was a golf ball with my wife's initial on it ... stuck right in the centre of the cow's f***y.
Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife "Hey this looks like yours!"
That's when the fight started!
Girlie Wisdom
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.
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Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like ... 'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' ... Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!.
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The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
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I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
Thought For Today
When they discover the centre of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
Bernard Bailey
Bernard Bailey
Saturday, 18 July 2009
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