Wildlife Pictures No.18

Baby Rhino with Mum.

Latest picture from our Wildlife Pictures series.

Definitions

Diplomat
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way you actually look forward to the trip.

Divorce
Future tense of marriage.

Doctor
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Dumbwaiter
One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

The Price Of Gas In France

A thief in Paris planned to steal some

paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning he got past security,

stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks

away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such

a crime and then make such an obvious error,

he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I

stole the paintings."

I had no money

To buy Degas

To make the Van Gogh

See if you have De Gaulle to show

this to your friends.

,Go on! After all what have

you got Toulouse

Maxine's World

Grandma

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs

for her date wearing a see-through blouse

and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched

a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!

The teenager said, "Loosen up Grams.

These are modern times, You gotta let your

rose buds show!" and out she goes. The next

day the teenager came down stairs and the

grandmother is sitting there with no top on.

The teenager wanted to die. She explains to

her grandmother that she has friends

coming over and that it is just not

appropriate... The grandmother said to her,

"Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off

your rose buds, then I can display my

hanging baskets!"